Adrian Rogers - Honoring Father and Mother (06/24/2025)
In this sermon on Exodus 20:12, the preacher stresses that honoring father and mother is God's direct command, the pivotal commandment with a promise of long life, and the foundation of all society—warning that today's culture is waging an all-out assault on family values, yet true blessing comes from obeying parents in youth, caring for them in old age, and honoring them always.
The Assault on Family Values Today
Be finding Exodus chapter 20 in the Word of God. Exodus chapter 20. In a moment we’re going to be looking at a very familiar verse, verse 12. But while it is familiar, it needs to be stated again. We’re talking about “Treasuring Family Values.” There is an all-out assault on the home and on family values. And it’s being done by cynics. A cynic is somebody that knows the price of everything, but he knows the value of nothing.
Where the Attack Comes From
We have a generation today that does not even know family values, much less treasure them. Notice God’s Word here in Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12, “Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Honor thy father and thy mother—that is a command from Almighty God.
Again, I want to say there is not only a neglecting of the family, but today there is an all-out assault on our families. It comes from the music industry. It comes from Hollywood. It comes from the television industry. When is the last time you saw on television a modern film that gives proper place and perspective to the home and the family, especially a family living in this generation, in this age?
Remember the Good Old Shows?
If it is a happy family, it’s a family that lived back in the frontier times. But what I want to say is that you will not find, as a rule, happily married couples on television. You will not find family values featured. When television began, do you know the kind of shows we watched? We watched “I Love Lucy,” we watched “Dick Van Dyke,” we watched “Lassie.” We watched “Make Room for Daddy.” We watched “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.”
We watched “The Donna Reed Show.” We watched “Father Knows Best,” “Leave It to Beaver,” “The Real McCoys.” Those were the kind of shows that we watched. And all of them had a thread through them of the family. And then those shows began to be replaced by Roseanne, for example, or Dallas, or Dynasty, or L.A. Law, or Falcon Crest, or these other things.
How Entertainment Poisons the Home
And by the way, I didn’t watch those. There was just something about them that’s distasteful to me. All of them are calculated to poison family relationships. And there’s something that has started now in our entertainment that has been actually since the sixties. In the sixties we were taught—our children were taught—don’t trust anybody over 30.
Now that generation—we call them today the boomers—they’re the ones running the country. They’re the ones producing the film and the music, at least publishing a large part of it. And the seeds of rebellion came along in the sixties, and parents were a part of the establishment. So don’t trust your parents. Don’t obey your parents. Don’t honor your parents. They’re not worth it.
Even “Family” Movies Put Parents Down
They gave us this miserable world, so we’re going to have to have a new generation to take over. And that’s what has happened. And even in the film fare that your little children are watching today—where the good films we call “The Little Mermaid.” I did see that. My children got me to watch that. “The Little Mermaid”—it’s delightful, beautiful music, but when you look at that film, the father of this little mermaid doesn’t understand. He has to be taught by the little mermaid.
E.T.—I didn’t see that one, but I read about it. In E.T., here’s an extra-terrestrial, and the children have to teach their parents to be loving and kind to this creature from out of space. Or even “Home Alone.” I did see that. “Home Alone.” They said, “Papa, you’ve got to watch ‘Home Alone.’” And it’s cute, it’s funny. But you think about it.
Here’s a little kid who’s so smart that he keeps the house from being robbed and keeps his bungling parents from making further mistakes. They’re so dumb. They’re so stupid. They go off and leave the kid alone. And he’s the little wizard, he’s the little genius who figures the whole thing out. Do you see what’s happening today?
Why This Commandment Is the Pivot Point
Parents are systematically, even in the good, the so-called good films, being put down as unworthy, as stupid, not knowing, not understanding. And now we have a generation running the government who seem to have that philosophy. The family’s being redefined today. There is a systematic assault on family values as God intended when God made one man, one woman, put them in a garden, and gave them children.
Now what I read to you in Exodus chapter 20 was a verse out of the Ten Commandments. And actually it’s the pivotal verse. If you know anything about the Ten Commandments, you know that they have both a vertical and a horizontal relationship. First of all, the Ten Commandments start with our relationship with God: “I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. Don’t take God’s name in vain,” and so forth. “Don’t make graven images. Remember the Sabbath day.” That’s our relationship to God. That’s from Heaven to Earth.
The First Commandment With a Promise
And then beginning with the fifth commandment and the last six, He begins to talk about our horizontal relationships—our relationships to others. And He begins the second half of the Ten Commandments with the one that says, “Honor father and mother.” Now think about it. Only ten commandments, only ten. And out of the entire ten, one is given to the subject of honoring father and mother.
And furthermore, this is the very first in the second half. Why? Because all society rests upon this commandment, “Honor father and mother.” It’s the first commandment with promise. God says here’s a reason that you do this: “That your days may be long in the land which God gives you.” Now what He is saying is this: that society cannot long endure where parents fail to be honored or where children fail to honor their parents.
Even before God says, “Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Thou shalt not commit adultery”—before He says all of this, He says we are to honor father and mother, because the child that honors father and mother will not steal. He will not kill. He will not commit adultery.
Three Ways to Truly Honor Your Parents
You see, our parents are the first people that we meet. And if we’re not right with our parents, if we don’t understand our parents, if we cannot love and respect our parents, how can we expect to love and respect others? And what God is saying is this: that the religion that does not begin at home does not begin. That the home is the foundation, the basis of expressing the love that we have for God, which comes first. The very next step is to love and to honor our parents.
Now I want our parents to listen today, but I especially want children to listen. No matter what age you are, I want you to listen and see what God says that you’re to do to honor your parents. Basically, I want to give you three thoughts today, and I pray God that the Holy Spirit will etch these upon your consciousness and burn them into your heart that you might learn today, on this special day, how to honor your father and your mother as God’s Word has commanded that you do.
#1: Obey Them While You’re Young
“Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Number one, if you would honor your father and your mother, you should obey them when you are young. Put it down: obey them when I am young. Colossians chapter 3 and verse 20—God repeats this in the New Testament: “Children, obey your parents in all things. For this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
And I don’t care what else you do—if you have a rebellious spirit to your parents, you are not pleasing Almighty God. Do you know the difference in kids, the difference in children? The difference basically is between those who obey their parents and those who don’t. If you go out here West, out into the Rockies—you come to the Colorado Rockies, these mountains that we call the Continental Divide—and up there in one of those passes as those mountains reach their very peak, the water, the rain, the snow falls from Heaven, and one drop of water may go down toward the west and another drop of water goes down toward the east.
That’s why they call it the continental divide. And those drops of water make up rivulets that make up rivers, and one river eventually will empty into the Pacific and another eventually into the Atlantic. And the difference is simply a very slight difference. One drop goes this way, one drop goes that way, but the destination, miles apart.
Disobedience: The Continental Divide of Character
What is the continental divide in character? What makes the difference, the prime difference in a child? It is whether or not that child obeys his parents. That is a continental divide. There was a man who lived in another decade, decades ago and part of another century. His name was Dwight L. Moody. He was the Billy Graham of his day, a mighty evangelist, a wise man—one of the wisest men I believe that walked the face of America, and yet he was not well educated.
But I want you to hear what Dwight L. Moody said. When he reached the age of sixty, he said, “I have lived over sixty years and I have learned one thing if I have learned nothing else: No man or woman who dishonors father or mother ever prospers.” “No man or woman who dishonors father or mother ever prospers.”
Children, teenagers, listen to me. God will surely judge you if you fail to obey your parents. God ranks disobedience to parents with the most vile and wicked and loathsome sins. Take your Bibles, turn to Romans chapter 1 and look in verse 28, and I’m going to read through verse 32, and I want you to listen to the catalog of sins that are listed here in Romans chapter 1.
Disobedience Ranks With the Worst Sins
God speaks of a generation, and this is how God describes them. God says, “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.” And then God describes what a reprobate mind is. He describes the sins that bring any civilization crashing down. Listen to them, and as you listen as I read this list, first of all I want you to see how vile this list of sins is, and secondly I want you to notice that God ranks disobedience to parents as one of these sins.
Verse 29: “Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things,” now watch it, “disobedient to parents.” Do you see the list that disobedience to parents comes with?
And then He describes the people who do this: “Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death.” God says if you disobey your parents you are worthy of death. “Not only do they the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.”
Actually that means that some people get their entertainment, their enjoyment watching people disobey their parents, watching people commit adultery, watching people do all of the things that are listed here. This is a part of America’s entertainment system.
A Sign of the Last Days
God says that a generation of children who disobey their parents is a sign of the last days. It’s the sign of a civilization on its last legs. Take your Bibles this time and turn to Second Timothy chapter 3. Listen to this Scripture in verses 1 through 5. God describes the age in which we’re living and He calls this age “perilous times.” Listen: “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.” And if you’re a child today with a disobedient spirit toward your parents, you only have a form of godliness—you’re not godly. You are one of those that God describes that cause perilous times to come upon any generation.
May I say further, to disobey your parents is to invite the sure judgment of Almighty God. To obey your parents is to bring the blessings of Almighty God. Ephesians chapter 6—put this in your margin—verses 1 through 3: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” Did you hear it? “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
And then God quotes in the New Testament the command that we read in the Old Testament: “Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise.” When God gave the other commandments He gave a warning. But when God gave this commandment, God gave a promise. And what is the promise? “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”
Obedience Brings God’s Protection
When a child learns to obey his or her parents, that child learns character, and when a child learns character, there’s something about character and well-being and health that go together. And beside this, when a child obeys God, then God goes forth to protect and to watch over that child and to watch over the land in which that child lives. There is the blessing, the protection of Almighty God.
Perhaps you ought to put a sign in your child’s bedroom on the wall: “Warning—disobedience to parents may be harmful for your health!” That’s what God is saying. God said this is a promise. It is so plain. God says honor your father and your mother that it may be well with you—it is right. Again, God makes it very clear.
You say, “Well, what if my parents don’t understand as much as I know?” That doesn’t have a lot to do with it, friend. God says obey your parents. “Well, what if my parents command me to do something that’s contrary to the Word of God? What if my parents tell me to steal or to kill?” Well, that’s so rare it hardly is worth mentioning. But obviously you know that the commandments of God supersede the commandments of your parents.
And the Bible says in Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” Surely sometimes you may have to choose between a command from Mom and Dad and a command from God, but that is so rare. God is saying that every child is to have the spirit of obedience to his or her mom or dad. And so put it down: number one, if you would honor your father and your mother, you obey them when you are young.
#2: Care for Them When They’re Old
Now there comes a time when you must assume responsibility for yourself, and you are out from underneath those commands to obey. For when you grow up and get a house of your own and a home of your own, then the Bible says in Genesis 2 verse 24, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” And you get a family with children that will obey you.
And so you obey your parents when you are young. But number two, you should care for your parents when they are old. Obey them when you are young, care for them when they are old. There’s a very serious problem in America today. Do you know what it is? It is the elderly. And the elderly so many times are forgotten by their children—hard-hearted and selfish children.
God commands that children are to take care of their elderly parents. They took care of us in spite of our faults; we must care for them now in spite of their faults. If we must carry them around, they carried us around. If we must now bathe them, they bathed us. If we must feed them, they fed us. If we must sacrifice for them, they sacrificed for us.
Jesus Condemns Neglecting Parents
Did you know that there is no religious duty, no church work that is more important than taking care of your mom and your dad? I want to show you a very interesting passage of Scripture. Turn to Matthew chapter 15. We’re talking about caring for your elderly parents. Matthew chapter 15—I begin to read in verse 3 on through verse 9.
Jesus is talking to the religionists of His age, and this is what He said to them, and He says it with a rebuke: “But He answered and said unto them, ‘Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded,’” and now here’s our same verse again, “‘Honor thy father and mother’: and, ‘He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.’
“But ye say, ‘Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honor not his father or his mother, he shall be free.’ Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition. Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, ‘This people draweth nigh unto Me with their mouth, and honoreth Me with their lips; but their heart is far from Me. But in vain they do worship Me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.’”
Now what had happened was this: the religionists of that day had said, “Listen, you can take the money that you ought to be giving to your parents, the money that ought to be used to support your elderly parents, and you can take that and say you’re going to give it to the building fund or you’re going to give it to missions or to some religious cause. And when you give that money to that religious cause, then you don’t have to take care of your parents.”
You know what Jesus said? Jesus said, “That is the tradition of men.” And so here would be a father or a mother destitute, and here’s a very religious man going off to worship with his Bible in his hand, putting his offering in the church, but he did not take care of his father and his mother.
“Are you saying, Pastor, that I ought not to give to the church anymore, I just simply ought to give it to my parents?” No, I’m not saying that at all. You obey God and give to God what belongs to God and give to your parents what belongs to your parents. God’ll help you to see. And don’t use one as an excuse for not doing the other. Neither excuses your faithfulness in either area.
But there were those in Jesus’ day who were royal hypocrites. They were not taking care of their father or their mother. If you’re a deacon in this church, if you’re a minister on this staff, if you sing in that choir and you have aged parents who need care and love and you don’t give it, Jesus said, “You are a hypocrite.” You’re a hypocrite. You’re to care for your parents.
Worse Than an Infidel?
The Bible is so clear about this thing. As a matter of fact, the Bible says that if you don’t take care of your parents, you are worse than an infidel. You’d have to look up to see an infidel—you’re lower than an infidel. Let me give you these Scriptures. First Timothy chapter 5 and verse 4: “But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home,” that is, the nephews or the children are to show piety at home, “and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.”
That’s First Timothy 5:4, and then in First Timothy chapter 5 verse 8 he says this: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” He’s not even as good as an infidel. If he does not take care of his parents—this verse, when it says “if any provide not for his own, specially those of his own household,” it’s not talking about parents providing for children; read it in its context. It’s talking about children providing for their elderly parents.
How do we honor our father and our mother? We obey them when we are young. We care for them when they are old. Nothing could be more clear in the Word of God than this.
#3: Honor Them Your Whole Life Long
Now we have a generation today that has forgotten basic family values. Now here’s the third thing. Not only should we obey them when we are young and not only should we care for them when they’re old, but we should honor them whether we are young or old.
I want to show you some Scripture. The Bible says again in Exodus chapter 20 verse 12, “Honor your father and your mother.” Now what does the word honor mean? The word honor actually at its root literally means to attach weight to something. It has the idea of something being heavy. That is, your parents are not to be taken lightly. They are to be given honor.
5 Practical Ways to Show Honor
I want to mention to you several ways that you can honor mom and dad. And I’d like for you to jot these down.
- By showing respect. Leviticus 19 verse 3: “Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father.” That does not mean to tremble in their sight—the Bible word means to have reverence, to have respect. Never speak disrespectfully to your parents.
- By expressing gratefulness. Thank them! Learn the attitude of gratitude. Shakespeare was so right when he said, “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child.” Whoever your mother and father is, whatever they’ve done, they have done much for you. Thank them. Thank them. Thank them.
- By listening to their counsel. While you have your own home, still heed the counsel of father or mother. Proverbs 1 verses 8 and 9: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.”
- By living a godly and noble life. You are an extension of your father and your mother. Nothing brings greater joy to parents than seeing their children walk in truth.
- By showing love to them. Love your mama. Call her. Write that letter to your dad. Pay that visit. Give that gift. Do that deed of helpfulness. Put that love in shoe leather. Verbalize it. Vitalize it. Visualize it. And if you’re going to do it, do it as quickly as you can.
I’ve preached many, many funerals in my day, and I’ve seen people try to make up for lost love at the funeral—lost respect, lost honor, opportunities. My friend, dead noses smell no roses. If you’re going to do it, do it now. Honor your father and your mother.
A society is on its way down—it has lost the very rudiment of character—when we have a generation of unruly young people who shoot out the lip to mother or father. That, friend, is a family value—honor your father and mother—that you can take to the bank. And may God one more time bring us back to a value that we can treasure: to honor our father and our mother. Bow your heads in prayer.
Father God, seal the message to our hearts and help us on this Mother’s Day to honor our father and our mother, and even those who have mothers in heaven, may we today honor their memory.
Now, while heads are bowed and eyes are closed. If you’re not certain that you’re saved, would you like to be saved? Would you like to know that you really do have life? Jesus said, “I’ve come that you might have life.” Could I lead you in a prayer? We’ll call this prayer the sinner’s prayer. And you can pray and accept Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. You can do it right now. Would you pray this prayer?
Dear God, I know that You love me. Thank You for loving me. And I know that You want to save me. Jesus, You died to save me and You promised to save me if I would trust You. Jesus, I do trust You. I believe You’re the Son of God. I believe You paid for my sin with Your blood on the cross. I believe that God raised You from the dead. And now I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Forgive my sin. Cleanse me. Come into my life. Take control of my life and begin today to make me the person You want me to be. And Jesus, give me the courage to make it public. Help me never to be ashamed of You. In Your name I pray, Amen.