Adrian Rogers - The Divine Design
Would you be taking God's Word and finding First Peter chapter 3. We're talking today about intimacy in marriage, "One Lord, One Love". The title of the study today, "One Lord, One Love: The Divine Design". What has God designed for the home? I heard about a man who was at breakfast. He was behind the newspaper drinking his coffee paying absolutely no attention to his wife, none whatsoever. She said to him, "You sitting there behind that paper, I bet you don't even know what today is". He put the paper down, "Of course I know what today is. Do you think I have forgotten"? So that day, in the middle of the day she received a beautiful bouquet of roses. Later on during the day, she got a box of chocolates. Later on during the day, the man delivered to her door, something very frilly for her to wear at night. And when he got home, the table was set, with a beautiful linen tablecloth.
There were candelabra on the table, fresh cut flowers, a magnificent meal and after it was all over, she got from her chair and moved over and took him by the hand, looked him in the eyes and said, "Sweetheart, I want to thank you for making this the most wonderful Groundhog Day I have ever known". I think that we have some men today who need to wake up and to listen. First Peter chapter 3 and verse 1 through verse 7, "Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the Word, they also may without the Word be won by the conversation." that literally means by the behavior of the wives:
"While they behold your chaste behavior joined or coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered".
Now the marriage relationship is meant to be the most intimate of all human relationships. As a matter of fact, the word intimate comes from the Latin word: intimus which means inmost. That is, where we share our most, or the inmost part of our nature with another person. Now unfortunately in our day and age, intimacy has a sexual connotation. But it goes far beyond the sexual or the sensual. As a matter of fact, the problem with our society today is that we have many who are indulging in the sensual who know nothing about true intimacy. Young people talk about going all the way, that's the one thing they are not doing. And we're finding that homes today are unraveling and falling apart.
Somewhere years ago I read about a city that had a land fill, a city dump, if you will. And it got filled and an enterprising entrepreneur bought it from the city fathers. He went out there and began to haul dirt on top of the garbage and took a bulldozer and spread it out and tamped it down. And after he had covered it with dirt, he laid it out into a subdivision. Built streets and curbs and began to build homes and it became a very attractively located and beautiful sight for homes. And young couples moved in, bought those homes and it was a wonderful community. Little children were riding around on their tricycles. Everything was fine until after a number of years. And then something started to happen. Walls in those houses began to sag and roofs began to sway and cracks and fishers came up and the curbing would break and the subsoil gave way and after a while families moved out and it was deserted. And the old timers, they knew what had happened. They knew that this community was built on garbage. They knew that. And they knew that the problem was with the foundation.
Now that's what's happened in America. We're trying to build our homes, very frankly, on garbage. We don't understand the truth of God's Word. And one wise man said, "When the bottom falls out, maybe you ought to examine the foundation". Now what we're going to do today is to look at some foundational truths. Now later on, we're going to talk about communication. We're going to talk about other things that deal with intimacy, but before we do that. I want to give you what I call the divine design. What did God intend for the family? And I'm glad that He uses as an illustration here, Abraham and Sara. Now you remember who Abraham was. He was a patriarch, a father, a ruler in the Old Testament and Sara was his beautiful wife. And God uses Abraham and Sara as an illustration. And I'm glad He does and I'll tell you why, because folks, they didn't have it easy.
Now sometimes we think of those folks who lived back in Bible times, they breathed a different air than we breathe and they didn't face the kind of problems that we face. You say, "Brother Adrian, you just don't know the kind of problems that my home faces". Well, let me tell you some of the kind of problems that Abraham and Sara faced. It's a wonder they didn't end up in the divorce court. First of all, they were constantly on the move. They dwelt in tents and he was moving from one place to another and very frankly didn't take time to explain to his wife. They're moving from place to place. Then on top of that there was a third person who came into their marriage. A woman named Hagar. And they had difficulty there because of this outside person where Abraham did not keep himself to his wife alone. Infidelity came in to this relationship.
And that was a very serious blow against the family. Then on top of that they had trouble with their children. They had a blended family. And they were trying to get them together. And they went through all of the things that you and I go through with our teenagers whether or not our family is a blended family. I tell you folks, it's tough to raise teenagers, isn't it? Somebody said that, "A teenager between the ages of 13 and 19 watches his parents age twenty years". And that is true. I mean, well, it's true metaphorically. The pressures that are upon people just getting kids up and raising kids. And then on top of that they had frustrated dreams. God had told him he was going to do this thing and that thing and it didn't seem like it was coming to pass and time was running out on them. And they got frustrated. And then they lived to be centurions. I mean, lived up to a hundred years; Abraham over a hundred years. But they made it. They stuck it out. They went through the fiery passions of youth. They went through middle age. Middle age is tough.
You know, when you're in middle age everything seems to be caving in on you. Somebody said that, "Youth looks forward, old age looks backward, and middle age just looks frustrated". And they went through middle age. They went through the middle age crisis. They went through the sunset years of life. They stuck it out and God uses them as an example, even as Abraham and Sara. So, what are the principles that Abraham and Sara sometimes had to learn in the hard way, but what principles did they learn and what principles can we learn today that will give us a foundation for our home? Alright, now, first of all, let's look at God's design for the wife. First Peter chapter 3 verses 1 and 2, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without the Word be won by the conversation of the wives. While they behold your chaste," or pure, "conversation coupled," or joined, "with fear".
Now, I want to say there's nothing more politically incorrect in the Bible than these two verses. I mean, the radical feminists today almost split their spleen to read these verses, that a woman is to be in subjection to her husband. This is totally, totally, politically incorrect for a woman to say, "I am going to submit myself to my husband". And to make matters worse, some Christian women have difficulty with this because it teaches that a wife is to submit herself to her husband, even if her husband is not obeying the Word of God. Now why is this? Well, very simply, God says there must be order in the home. And for there to be order in the home rather than chaos there must be some head. You've heard me say many times that, "Anything without a head is dead and anything with two heads is a freak".
And that is true in any organization. It's true anywhere. It's true in the church. It's true in the home. And the husband is the head of the wife. The Bible makes it very clear and very plain. Now, some women think automatically that this means that the Bible teaches that women are inferior. Perish the thought, the Bible does not teach that. Let me give you some verses to put together. The first is First Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 3. Paul says, "But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God". That's very interesting because we see from this verse that having one over us as our head does not mean that we're inferior.
Let me ask you this question: is God the Son inferior to God the Father? Of course not. Is God the Father the head of God the Son? Of course He is. That's what this Scripture teaches. There is a divine order: God the Father, God the Son, the man and the woman. But is a woman equal with a man? Of course she is. Listen to this Scripture, Galatians 3 verse 28, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there's neither bond nor free, there's neither male nor female for ye are all one in Christ Jesus". That is, in Christ Jesus, we're all one. It took as much of the blood of Jesus to save a woman as it does a man and when they're saved, they're all part of the body of Christ. But the devil today is trying to obliterate the difference between the sexes. And it is the devil's attempt to make men and women alike under the guise of making them equal. They are equal, but they are not alike. They are different and God made us different that God might make us one.
Never forget that. The Bible is against she-men and he-women. We're going to talk one whole session about the difference between the sexes. We're going to have a good time that day, when we talk about the difference between the sexes. The battle of the sexes really ought not to be a battle at all. As a matter of fact, God made us different that He might make us one. Now, when a woman has this attitude of submission to her husband, it does not mean that she is inferior. One of the best illustrations for this is football.
Now, ladies, I hope you know just enough about football to understand this illustration. I think the men will understand the illustration. Let's say that there is a quarterback; and I played quarterback; let's say there's a quarterback whose duty it is to call the signals. Now let's say that the quarterback is not as good as his fullback. I played with a boy who made All-American, he was an All-American fullback. I didn't make All-American, all right, but I was quarterback. He was an All-American fullback and we played on the same team together. And he was an incredible individual. But, he didn't call the plays. Who calls the plays on a football team? The quarterback. Does that mean that the quarterback is a better player than the other players? No. It just simply means that somebody has to call the plays.
Now, who says that the quarterback is going to call the plays? The coach; and the coach has a game plan. The coach says, "This is the way it's going to be done". So the coach instructs the quarterback. The quarterback calls the plays under the coach's direction, but the other players may be better than the quarterback himself. Now, when a husband is the head of the home that doesn't mean that he's superior to his wife. In some areas, she may be incredibly superior to him. She may be more competent than the husband. In our home, there're things that Joyce is far more competent in than I am. Joyce does all the book work, takes care of all the finances in our home and very frankly, I'm glad she does. It would be a mess if I did it. People talking about women having difficulty balancing the checkbook; I would be the one that had the difficulty doing that.
Now, but Joyce does what she does under my direction, with my permission, under my authority. Men, I want to tell you something. You can delegate. You can delegate all you want. You can delegate authority, but you cannot delegate responsibility. Now what I mean is, you may give her an authority in this area, or you may give her authority in that area, but behind it all, you are responsible. Now if our books are not right, who is responsible; Joyce or me? Who is responsible, Joyce? No, I would be responsible. I'd be responsible if they're not right. Because I have given her that responsibility, but I have not taken that authority to do that but I have not been able to denude myself of that responsibility. It is my responsibility.
Now, let's go back to the football team. Here's the football team, and the quarterback calls a play. Now it may be the best play. It may not be the best play, but I'll guarantee you a team will do better if they're all running the same play don't you agree to that? They're all running the same play. Somebody has to call the play. Now if the team wins the game, who gets the praise? All the players. But if the team loses and the quarterback has called a bad play, who gets the blame? The quarterback. Now what I'm trying to say is that the husbands cannot get rid of that responsibility. And when God gives you the responsibility of headship in the home, that is a responsibility that you can never give away though you may delegate authority.
You may say, "You may run this ball or you open up this thing here, you do this and he does that," because the Coach says he is to do it. There must be headship in the home. Now, not only is there to be her submission, what I call her attitude of submission, but there is to be her adornment of serenity. Look if you will in First Peter 3 verses 3 and 4, "Whose adorning," that is, whose beauty, "let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, or wearing of gold, or putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man," or, the hidden person, "of the heart. In that which is not corruptible". Underscore that phrase, "That which is not corruptible. Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price".
Now, here God tells a woman how to be beautiful. He talks about her attitude of submission and then He talks about her adornment of serenity, that meek and that quiet spirit. Now, He's not saying here that it's wrong for a woman to wear gold. He's not saying it's wrong for a woman to fix her hair. The New American Standard gives it this way, "And let not your adornment be merely external". I'm glad for that word: merely. Sometimes people take this verse and they try to proof text that women ought not to wear jewelry, or that women ought not to braid their hair and they say, "Let's just read it. You see there, it says, 'The braiding of hair.' Women ought not to braid their hair. You see there. It says something about, 'Wearing of gold.' Women ought not to wear gold. And you see here, it says something about, 'Putting on clothes.'"
Women ought not to put on clothes. No, I'm glad the word merely is there. Again Sara is the example here. Did you know one of the most beautiful women that ever lived was Sara? She must have been. At 80 years old, men were still fighting over her. Sara was a knock out. She was a beautiful women and yet she is the one who is used here as an illustration. So, what He's saying is that you ought not to dress extremely. Because when you dress extremely, you take away from your character. You draw attention to other things and away from your character. You ought to dress so as to enhance your character. That would be the same as putting on makeup. Some people say, "Is it a sin for a woman to wear makeup"?
I think it's a sin if some women don't. But have you ever seen any of these women that just keep putting it on and putting it on and putting it on you know, and they're eyes look like a Jack-o-lantern with the candle blown out? The eyes are the mirror of the soul. And rather than being able to see that inward serenity and that beauty, it's all just somehow obliterated. We think that people are attracted to the physical part of human beings. That is true to some degree. But some college students, a great number of them were given a test. What do you look for in a date? And the physical traits, the physical characteristics were way down on the list. At the top were things like personality, and sincerity and character. Now, modesty is a trait that says, "I have self-confidence". But immodesty says, "I am self-centered".
So, a woman is to have a serene beauty about her. She is to have an adornment of serenity. God calls it that, "Ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, that which is not corruptible". Now let me tell you something ladies, you ought to keep yourself attractive for your husband. But your greatest beauty is inward beauty and if you don't realize that you are fighting a losing battle. I'm going to tell you the truth and you listen to me. My wife is more beautiful to me today than she was when I married her. I mean that with all of my heart. God is listening to what I'm saying. Because of the character of that woman. Because of the beauty of that woman. And that beauty is internal beauty as well as external and she gets more beautiful day by day as she walks before the Lord. But if you put all your eggs in the basket of physical beauty, I'm going to tell you what you catch him with is what you're going to have to keep him with.
And before long, you know there's a new bevy of beauties being born every day. Did you know that? They say that, "Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes all the way to the bone. Beauty fades, but ugly holds its own". Now, what I'm trying to say to you is this folks, that God says, she is to have an attitude of submission. She is to have an adornment of serenity. And no woman, listen carefully, no woman with a rebellious spirit can have an adornment of serenity. It's just absolutely impossible. Now here's a third thing. Not only her attitude of submission, not only her adornment of serenity, but her affirming speech; her affirmation of speech. Look in First Peter 3 verse 6 of this same thing, "Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are as long as ye do well and are not afraid with any amazement".
Already he said in verse 1, that a wife is not to nag her husband and now he talks about Sara who called Abraham Lord. Now that doesn't mean lord like we use the word lord today. She didn't mean that you're my lord and master and she groveled at his feet. But the word lord was a respect; a term of respect like we might use the word sir today. But the point is that she spoke very respectfully of her husband. She was very wise in her use of speech and God knows that a woman is to a man what a wind is to a fire. She can fan him up or blow him out. She, by her speech, her words. Do you know what a man wants from a woman? Ladies let me tell you what a man wants from a woman. He wants her admiration.
You say, well that's what women want from men. Well, we'll get to that in a moment. But he wants her to admire him. From the time I first started dating Joyce, I always wanted her to admire me. I use to get on my bicycle and ride backward down the street in front of her house so she would come out and see me doing those hijinks. I don't know if I really enjoyed playing football or not, I mean it hurts. I'd get tired. We'd always talk about the fun of the game. Really, it's not that much fun. The fun part is to hold the cheerleader's hand after the game and let her look up at you and ask, "Are you hurt"? You know, "No"! And that's the fun part. I have a picture, one of the best pictures that I have is a picture of Joyce. She was in her cheerleader outfit; and by the way, her cheerleader outfit in those days didn't look like they do in these day if you want to know. But underneath that picture of her are these words, it's one of my cherished possessions. She said, "I will always cheer you on"!
That's meaningful to me. Words of affirmation, her affirming words. I wish I had more time for that, but let me go on and the last thing is her accommodating service. Look if you will in First Peter 3 verses 5 and 6. It talks about Sara in verse 5 and verse 6, it said she obeyed Abraham, "Calling him lord". To obey literally means to play close, close attention to his needs. And a woman ought to ask herself, "What can I do to be a helpmeet to her husband, to meet his needs physically, emotionally, spiritually in every way". Well, I must leave that because I want to get to God's design for the man. Most sermons on the home, we start on the women and we never get to the man, so let's go on to First Peter 3 verse 7, "Likewise ye husbands".
Now I'm glad that's there. Now ladies don't say I didn't say it. Don't say we never got to it. We're going to say more; God requires far more of the man than He does of the woman. Listen to it, "Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge; giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered". Now what this says is that men we are to wise up. We're to, "Dwell with them according to knowledge". Very frankly that's hard. You have to watch a man that says he understands women because he'll lie about anything. It's hard. I was driving out here to this area and I got behind a pickup truck and it had a bumper sticker. And I got up close to read the bumper sticker and here's what the bumper sticker said on that pickup truck. It said, "The more I learn about women, the more I love my truck". I said, "Well that's a frustrated guy driving that truck".
I want to tell you something, folks, the more you learn about Jesus, the more you'll love your wife. That's what the bumper sticker ought to say, "The more I learn about Jesus, the more I love my wife". The Bible says that we are to, "Dwell with them according to knowledge". Men are sometimes so stupid. You think that because you are the head of the home you're superior. I knew a man that subscribed to the theory of male superiority until his wife canceled his subscription. What is a man to be? Well, first of all he is to be the provider in the home. The man is to the provider in the home. In Genesis chapter 2 and verse 15 God said very clearly that it was the man's job to, "Dress and to keep the vineyard," the Garden of Eden. It is the man's job to bring in the basic necessities to the home; food, clothing, transportation.
Now, if the man does not assume that basic responsibility there's going to be a loss of respect. We have many women today, who are working outside the home who do not need to work outside the home, especially when there are little children at home, but they do that for fulfillment. We're going to talk about that later on in this series. A lot of homes would be much happier if we learned to do with less. And I want to remind you what I said when we spoke on the Ten Commandments. A Greek philosopher said, "To whom little is not enough; nothing is enough". If you can't learn to get along on little, you'll never be satisfied with much. Now, when a husband is to provide, and by the way, my hat is off and my heart is out to women who have to work to provide the basic necessities.
But if you do work and you don't have to provide the basic necessities and you work outside the home, let what the man earns go for the basic necessities and what you earn, let it be used for ministry and the extras in the family, if necessary. And sometimes, we cannot have this ideal. Sometimes a woman has to work and I know that. I know that. But I'm telling you that God's divine design is for the man to be the provider in the home. He's to be the provider. Now you are to provide for your wife, sir, more than the food and the clothing however. You are to meet her emotional needs. The Bible says you are to, "Give her honor," that's one of the things you are to give her. Let me just read very quickly, the seven basic emotional needs of your wife.
Number One, she needs the stability and direction of a spiritual leader. If you're not a spiritual leader, you're not providing for your wife. Number two, she needs to know that she and she alone is meeting the basic needs of your life that no other woman can meet. That is, she needs to know beyond the shadow of a doubt she is number one in your life, so far as people are concerned. Number three, she needs to see and learn that you delight in her; that you cherish her as a person, not as a sex object, but as a person. Number four, she needs to know that you enjoy setting aside quality time for intimate conversation with her. She wants you to sit down, look her in the face and give her intimate time. Number five, she needs to know that it is the goal of your life to protect her in areas of her limitations. That is you recognize that she is the weaker vessel. Number six, she needs to know that you are aware of her presence even when you're doing other things, that you don't ignore her. Number seven, she needs to know that the goal of your life is to invest in her life to help her to expand and fulfill her world.
But what I'm trying to say is this; that a husband is to be a provider for his wife. But not only is he the provider, listen very carefully, he is the protector. Because what did God tell Adam to do? Not only to, "Dress the Garden," but he was told, "To keep it". He was told to keep it. And that word keep means he is to guard it. The husband is to shield his family, he's to guard his family, he's to defend his family. Now I am not the man I used to be, but I'm going to tell you something. You can say bad things to me and I'll try to return good for evil and so forth, but if you insult my wife, or touch my wife, I'll put you on the ground if I can, real quick. There's something in me that says, "God wants me to defend that woman and defend my children". The husband is to be the protector in the family. Let me share something I read and I don't know a better way to do it than just to share it. This comes from a book by James Dobson. And Jim Dobson said:
Just imagine that somehow we could just transport ourselves or have some people from yesterday to transport themselves, say maybe from 1870, into our situation today and see what is happening in the home and with men and women. And today's representative speaks first, in this convocation and he says this:
- "Our purpose gentlemen will be to show you the features of our culture in the 1990's which differ most radically from yours. In some instances, the picture will not be a pretty one. Ours is a very violent society, for example. In the United States alone, more than 90,000 women are brutally raped every year. One in three adult females living in certain cities will be ravaged during their lifetime." Folks, that's one in three. Listen, "One in every five college women is raped on campus. Usually by someone they know. This is a disgrace in our time."
- "What?" they would reply in disbelief. "That's worse than a wartime experience. What is being done to stop it?"
- Very little I'm afraid.
- Well, what punishment befalls those who are apprehended?
- Well, most offenders are never caught. Of those who are, many are never convicted. Only 16% will spend time in prison.
- What do you do with those who are proven guilty? Do you shoot them or hang them?
- Oh no, some spend less than a year in jail and then they're set free. Others may be incarcerated for as long as 15 years before being released.
- Released! What's to keep them from harming women again?
- Unfortunately, many do just that.
- Well, why do so many men want to rape and kill women?
- There are many reasons. Some boys grow up very angry at women, but also we live in a provocative society. Are you familiar with the pornography that is available widely today?
- No, does it show women partially clothed?
- Far worse I'm afraid. It depicts nude women being brutalized in every imaginable way. They are shown being violated with blunt instruments, hanging from trees, and being murdered with knives, guns, ropes etc. Every immodesty is depicted in color and bloody realism.
- I can't breathe. How could such things be? And you say this material is legal and widely discriminated?
- Yes, teenagers are the most frequent buyers of it. And in some countries, Australia, for example, the same type of material focusing on children is legal.
- You don't mean that the public would tolerate such things?
- I'm afraid so. Australians don't seem offended by it, or by the knowledge that real children are abused by the pornographers.
- A brisk child pornography business goes on in North America too, although it is technically illegal. It was largely ignored in the United States until 1983, but it still generates millions of dollars in sales under the counter.
- Why? Tell me why?
- Obviously it's not a high priority matter with our legislatures and court system.
- And most of these people are men?
- Yes, the overwhelming majority are men. They are determined to protect the civil rights of the pornographers.
- What about the civil rights of your women and children? What kind of men would permit such abuse? What has happened to manhood? We would give our lives to protect our loved ones.
- Yes, we've read about your commitment in our history books. Surprisingly not everyone admires your approach to family life. Some refer to you a chauvinists. That means your patronizing to women. That you really don't respect them. One advertisement tells women that they've come a long way since the oppression of your day.
- Oh, really. But do your men really respect women? Is that true.
- Yes, but times have changed. The father's protective spirit toward family life is less intense today. For example, a female minor who is secretly pregnant out of wedlock, can receive a legal abortion without parental knowledge.
- Let me sit down! You're telling me that a mother and father would not even be told when their child was violated in that way?
- That's right. In fact, abortion is not seen as a violation.
- Even at 13 or 14 years of age a girl can be transported legally by her teacher or counselor to an agency that terminates pregnancies. Where the baby is drawn from her uterus by a suction device. Not only is parental permission not needed to perform this procedure, they aren't even informed that evening when the young lady comes home. They will never know unless she chooses to tell them.
- But how can parents in that situation care for the girl's health? She's but a child! What if she develops complications from this procedure?
- If problems develop the parents may be the last to be told.
- I can't believe fathers would permit someone to assault their daughters in this way. If that happened in our day, someone would be shot over it. What is wrong with the men who accept such outrage?
- Well, attitudes have changed. Many people today believe that the state is really responsible for its children. Parents have a lesser role than in your day. There's a point of view with international adherence, for example, called the Children's Rights Movement. Their position is that boys and girls are entitled at any age to do anything, see anything, decide anything that adults might choose. And when I say anything, I mean just that.
- Anything? You mean that a child could decide to have sexual relations with an adult and the parents could not intervene?
- Yes, in Sweden today it is illegal for a parent to spank a child for disobedience. But it is legal for a father to have intercourse with his daughter or a homosexual experience with his son.
- That's sickening! Who would do such a terrible thing?
- Not many perhaps, yet it illustrates how far the children's rights advocates have gone. According to this philosophy, the child is on equal footing with adults. Those who promote this movement want to see boys or girls given the right to vote, travel, choose their own faith, have a guaranteed income and generally operate independently of their parents.
- Surely that notion hadn't caught on!
- Not universally, but Western society moves further in that direction every year.
- We think you modernists are a little crazy.
- Oh, by the way, you be interested to know that women are very active in the military today.
- Well yes, that was true in our time, too. They served as nurses in the great Civil War and they rolled bandages and performed other functions.
- No, that's not what I mean. Women today are full-fledged members of the Armed Forces. When a general mobilization is called those who have volunteered are required to participate.
- Furthermore, many people feel it's only a matter of time before women will be obligated to serve just as men do in times of national crisis. It's all part of the equality thing. If women are truly equal to men in the eyes of the law, then they must be willing to fight and die like their male counterparts.
- But what if the women have babies?
- If they're in the military, they have to go. Babies are left behind. When both husbands and wives serve in the Armed Forces, their children are farmed out to relatives or to someone who will care for them.
- Do you mean a mother of a tiny baby is expected to fight and defend the country while any able bodied men stay at home?
- Yes, millions of male students and others who have not joined the military are exempt. It was the woman's choice to enlist, she must do her duty.
- Why, it's incomprehensible that a man would let a young mother do his fighting for him. But then your people make no sense anyway. Who would have thought that little more than one century of progress would produce such foolish ideas? The folks back in our day will never believe what we've heard. We will pray for you.
- Thank you. Yep, you've come a long way, baby.
- "Our purpose gentlemen will be to show you the features of our culture in the 1990's which differ most radically from yours. In some instances, the picture will not be a pretty one. Ours is a very violent society, for example. In the United States alone, more than 90,000 women are brutally raped every year. One in three adult females living in certain cities will be ravaged during their lifetime." Folks, that's one in three. Listen, "One in every five college women is raped on campus. Usually by someone they know. This is a disgrace in our time."
- "What?" they would reply in disbelief. "That's worse than a wartime experience. What is being done to stop it?"
- Very little I'm afraid.
- Well, what punishment befalls those who are apprehended?
- Well, most offenders are never caught. Of those who are, many are never convicted. Only 16% will spend time in prison.
- What do you do with those who are proven guilty? Do you shoot them or hang them?
- Oh no, some spend less than a year in jail and then they're set free. Others may be incarcerated for as long as 15 years before being released.
- Released! What's to keep them from harming women again?
- Unfortunately, many do just that.
- Well, why do so many men want to rape and kill women?
- There are many reasons. Some boys grow up very angry at women, but also we live in a provocative society. Are you familiar with the pornography that is available widely today?
- No, does it show women partially clothed?
- Far worse I'm afraid. It depicts nude women being brutalized in every imaginable way. They are shown being violated with blunt instruments, hanging from trees, and being murdered with knives, guns, ropes etc. Every immodesty is depicted in color and bloody realism.
- I can't breathe. How could such things be? And you say this material is legal and widely discriminated?
- Yes, teenagers are the most frequent buyers of it. And in some countries, Australia, for example, the same type of material focusing on children is legal.
- You don't mean that the public would tolerate such things?
- I'm afraid so. Australians don't seem offended by it, or by the knowledge that real children are abused by the pornographers.
- A brisk child pornography business goes on in North America too, although it is technically illegal. It was largely ignored in the United States until 1983, but it still generates millions of dollars in sales under the counter.
- Why? Tell me why?
- Obviously it's not a high priority matter with our legislatures and court system.
- And most of these people are men?
- Yes, the overwhelming majority are men. They are determined to protect the civil rights of the pornographers.
- What about the civil rights of your women and children? What kind of men would permit such abuse? What has happened to manhood? We would give our lives to protect our loved ones.
- Yes, we've read about your commitment in our history books. Surprisingly not everyone admires your approach to family life. Some refer to you a chauvinists. That means your patronizing to women. That you really don't respect them. One advertisement tells women that they've come a long way since the oppression of your day.
- Oh, really. But do your men really respect women? Is that true.
- Yes, but times have changed. The father's protective spirit toward family life is less intense today. For example, a female minor who is secretly pregnant out of wedlock, can receive a legal abortion without parental knowledge.
- Let me sit down! You're telling me that a mother and father would not even be told when their child was violated in that way?
- That's right. In fact, abortion is not seen as a violation.
- Even at 13 or 14 years of age a girl can be transported legally by her teacher or counselor to an agency that terminates pregnancies. Where the baby is drawn from her uterus by a suction device. Not only is parental permission not needed to perform this procedure, they aren't even informed that evening when the young lady comes home. They will never know unless she chooses to tell them.
- But how can parents in that situation care for the girl's health? She's but a child! What if she develops complications from this procedure?
- If problems develop the parents may be the last to be told.
- I can't believe fathers would permit someone to assault their daughters in this way. If that happened in our day, someone would be shot over it. What is wrong with the men who accept such outrage?
- Well, attitudes have changed. Many people today believe that the state is really responsible for its children. Parents have a lesser role than in your day. There's a point of view with international adherence, for example, called the Children's Rights Movement. Their position is that boys and girls are entitled at any age to do anything, see anything, decide anything that adults might choose. And when I say anything, I mean just that.
- Anything? You mean that a child could decide to have sexual relations with an adult and the parents could not intervene?
- Yes, in Sweden today it is illegal for a parent to spank a child for disobedience. But it is legal for a father to have intercourse with his daughter or a homosexual experience with his son.
- That's sickening! Who would do such a terrible thing?
- Not many perhaps, yet it illustrates how far the children's rights advocates have gone. According to this philosophy, the child is on equal footing with adults. Those who promote this movement want to see boys or girls given the right to vote, travel, choose their own faith, have a guaranteed income and generally operate independently of their parents.
- Surely that notion hadn't caught on!
- Not universally, but Western society moves further in that direction every year.
- We think you modernists are a little crazy.
- Oh, by the way, you be interested to know that women are very active in the military today.
- Well yes, that was true in our time, too. They served as nurses in the great Civil War and they rolled bandages and performed other functions.
- No, that's not what I mean. Women today are full-fledged members of the Armed Forces. When a general mobilization is called those who have volunteered are required to participate.
- Furthermore, many people feel it's only a matter of time before women will be obligated to serve just as men do in times of national crisis. It's all part of the equality thing. If women are truly equal to men in the eyes of the law, then they must be willing to fight and die like their male counterparts.
- But what if the women have babies?
- If they're in the military, they have to go. Babies are left behind. When both husbands and wives serve in the Armed Forces, their children are farmed out to relatives or to someone who will care for them.
- Do you mean a mother of a tiny baby is expected to fight and defend the country while any able bodied men stay at home?
- Yes, millions of male students and others who have not joined the military are exempt. It was the woman's choice to enlist, she must do her duty.
- Why, it's incomprehensible that a man would let a young mother do his fighting for him. But then your people make no sense anyway. Who would have thought that little more than one century of progress would produce such foolish ideas? The folks back in our day will never believe what we've heard. We will pray for you.
- Thank you. Yep, you've come a long way, baby.
Now forgive me for reading all that, but I couldn't help it. Folks, that's sad. That's sad, but that's the day in which we live. I want to say that men are to protect their families. The husbands is the provider, he is the protector and the husband is the pastor of the home. This verse, First Peter 3 verse 7, goes on to say that, "Husbands are to dwell with wives according to knowledge that their prayers be not hindered". Whose prayers is He talking about? Well, he may be talking about the prayer of husband and wife together, but beyond a shadow of any doubt, he's talking about the prayer of the man of God. Do you know what my job, my assignment from God is? My assignment from God is to love Joyce as Christ loved the Church. And how does Jesus love the church? In Ephesians 5 verses 25 through 27, the Bible says He loved it this way. That, "He gave Himself for it, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church without spot or wrinkle or any such thing".
Do you know spots are? That's defilement. I am to keep my wife from defilement. Do you what wrinkles are? Do you know what a wrinkle is? It's an inward scar. Do you know why women have such tension in their lives? Because their husbands have not loved them as the husband ought to love them. Have you ever walked up to a woman and seen that tension on her face? Many times the husband put it there. Many times, he has not removed those inward scars by his love. My chief assignment from God is to make Joyce a more radiantly, beautiful Christian. I have this God-given assignment: I am to be provider, protector and pastor in the home. Not because I'm a pastor; if I were a lawyer or businessman or whatever, it's still my assignment to be the pastor in the home. I'm to say, "As for me and my house, we'll serve the Lord". Joshua chapter 24 verse 15.
Now folks, this is just the design. This is not how to have intimacy. We're going to get to how to have intimacy in the next several messages. But what I'm trying to do today, is just to lay down the divine design for you to see what God says that a wife is to be; what God says that a husband is to be. Now if you don't agree with what God says there in First Peter, don't come and talk to me about it, just tell God about it. Okay? Just say, "God you're wrong about this". But don't come to me about it. Now if I've misinterpreted the Scripture, you come to me and say, "You didn't say it just right. You didn't read it right, you didn't interpret it right and here's where you can be more correct". But don't come to me and say, "This is what God says, but I don't agree with it". Because I'm not going to change and God's not going to change. You're the one needs to change. And if you want to have a Godly home, go back and read the directions. God has a plan.
Now let me just wrap this up by saying this, you cannot have a Christian home without having Christians, any more than you could have a cherry pie without cherries. And if you want God in your home, then you've got to give your heart to God. Let's bow our heads in prayer. Heads are bowed and eyes are closed. Lord God, I pray today that many will give their hearts to Jesus and be saved. And I pray dear God, that those of us who are saved will begin to read Your Word and to build our homes solidly on Your Word. If you're not certain that you're saved, would you like to be saved, would you? Would you like to know that you really do have life? Jesus said, "I've come that you might have life". Could I lead you in a prayer? We'll call this prayer the sinner's prayer. And you can pray and accept Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. You can do it right now. Would you pray this prayer?
Dear God, I know that You love me. Thank You for loving me. And I know that You want to save me. Jesus, You died to save me and You promised to save me if I would trust You. Jesus, I do trust You. I believe You're the Son of God. I believe you paid for my sin with Your blood on the cross. I believe that God raised You from the dead. And now I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Forgive my sin. Cleanse me. Come into my life. Take control of my life and begin today to make me the person You want me to be. And Jesus, give me the courage to make it public. Help me never to be ashamed of You. In Your name I pray, Amen.