Adrian Rogers - How to Be the Father of a Wise Child
Take your Bibles and turn if you would to Proverbs chapter 1. Sometimes children are caught up in the mistakes and the pride and the arrogance of their parents. And more than often it's the pride and the arrogance of the father.
Twas the schooner Hesperus that sailed the wintery sea.
The skipper had taken his little daughter to bear him company.
Blue were her eyes as the fairy flax, her cheeks like the dawn of day.
Her bosom white as the Hawthorne buds that op' in the month of May.
A skipper stood upon the helm, his pipe was in his mouth.
He watched how the veering flaw did blow the wind now west, now south.
Then up spake an old sailor, had sailed the Spanish Main,
"I pray thee, put into yonder port, for I fear a hurricane.
Last night the moon had a golden ring, tonight no moon we see."
But the skipper blew a whiff from his pipe, and a scornful laugh laughed he.
Colder and louder grew the wind, a gale from the northeast.
The snow fell hissing on the brine, and the billows frothed like yeast.
"Come hither! Come hither, my little daughter, and do not tremble so,
for I can weather the roughest storm that ever wind did blow."
And he wrapped her warm in his seaman's coat against the stinging blast
And he cut a rope from a fallen spar and bound her to the mast.
"O father! I hear the church bells ring, O say, what may it be?"
"'Tis a fog bell on a rock-bound coast," and he steered for the open sea.
"O Father! I hear the sound of guns, O say, what, what may it be?"
"Some ship in distress that cannot live in such an angry sea."
"O Father! I see a gleaming light, O say, what may it be?"
But the father answered never a word, for a frozen corpse was he.
Lashed to the helm all stiff and stark with his face turned toward the skies.
The lantern shown through the gleaming snow on his fixed and glassy eyes.
The maiden then bowed her head and prayed that saved she might be;
And she thought of the Christ that still the waves on the lake of Galilee.
And on through the midnight dark and drear, through the whistling sleet and snow,
The vessel swept like a sheeted ghost toward the reef of Norman's Woe.
And ever the fitful gust between, a sound came from the land.
Was the sound of the trampling surf, on the rocks and the hard sea sand.
The billows were right beneath her bow, she drifted a dreary wreck,
A whooping billow swept the crew like icicles from her deck.
She struck where the white and fleecy waves looked soft as carded wool.
But the cruel rocks, they gored her side like the horns of an angry bull.
Her rattling shrouds all sheathed in ice with a mast went by the board.
She stove and sank like a vessel of glass. "Ho! Ho!" the breakers roared.
At daybreak on the bleak sea-beach, a fisherman stood aghast,
To see the form of a maiden fair lashed close to a drifting mast.
Salt sea frozen on her breast, salt tears in her eyes,
And he watched her hair like the brown seaweed on the billows fall and rise.
Such was the wreck of the Hesperus, in the midnight and the snow.
Christ save us all from a death like this on the reef of Norman's Woe.
The skipper had taken his little daughter to bear him company.
Blue were her eyes as the fairy flax, her cheeks like the dawn of day.
Her bosom white as the Hawthorne buds that op' in the month of May.
A skipper stood upon the helm, his pipe was in his mouth.
He watched how the veering flaw did blow the wind now west, now south.
Then up spake an old sailor, had sailed the Spanish Main,
"I pray thee, put into yonder port, for I fear a hurricane.
Last night the moon had a golden ring, tonight no moon we see."
But the skipper blew a whiff from his pipe, and a scornful laugh laughed he.
Colder and louder grew the wind, a gale from the northeast.
The snow fell hissing on the brine, and the billows frothed like yeast.
"Come hither! Come hither, my little daughter, and do not tremble so,
for I can weather the roughest storm that ever wind did blow."
And he wrapped her warm in his seaman's coat against the stinging blast
And he cut a rope from a fallen spar and bound her to the mast.
"O father! I hear the church bells ring, O say, what may it be?"
"'Tis a fog bell on a rock-bound coast," and he steered for the open sea.
"O Father! I hear the sound of guns, O say, what, what may it be?"
"Some ship in distress that cannot live in such an angry sea."
"O Father! I see a gleaming light, O say, what may it be?"
But the father answered never a word, for a frozen corpse was he.
Lashed to the helm all stiff and stark with his face turned toward the skies.
The lantern shown through the gleaming snow on his fixed and glassy eyes.
The maiden then bowed her head and prayed that saved she might be;
And she thought of the Christ that still the waves on the lake of Galilee.
And on through the midnight dark and drear, through the whistling sleet and snow,
The vessel swept like a sheeted ghost toward the reef of Norman's Woe.
And ever the fitful gust between, a sound came from the land.
Was the sound of the trampling surf, on the rocks and the hard sea sand.
The billows were right beneath her bow, she drifted a dreary wreck,
A whooping billow swept the crew like icicles from her deck.
She struck where the white and fleecy waves looked soft as carded wool.
But the cruel rocks, they gored her side like the horns of an angry bull.
Her rattling shrouds all sheathed in ice with a mast went by the board.
She stove and sank like a vessel of glass. "Ho! Ho!" the breakers roared.
At daybreak on the bleak sea-beach, a fisherman stood aghast,
To see the form of a maiden fair lashed close to a drifting mast.
Salt sea frozen on her breast, salt tears in her eyes,
And he watched her hair like the brown seaweed on the billows fall and rise.
Such was the wreck of the Hesperus, in the midnight and the snow.
Christ save us all from a death like this on the reef of Norman's Woe.
There are many children who are going to be shipwrecked because of the pride and the arrogance of their fathers who will not do what they ought to do to guide those children into a safe and secure haven. And they make shipwreck not only of their own lives, but the lives of their children, bound to the mast of their own ignorance. Listen to God's Word here, Proverbs chapter 1 verse 1 through 5, "The Proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel; to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment and equity". Now watch specially verse 4, "To give subtlety to the simple and to the young man, knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear and will increase learning and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsel".
And then begin to read with me in verse 20 through 22, "Wisdom crieth without, she uttereth her voice in the streets. She crieth in the chief place of the concourse in the opening of the gates. In the city she uttereth her words saying, 'How long ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity?' And the scorners delight in their scorning and fools hate knowledge"? Now if you don't mind marking your Bible, I want you to take your Bible and I want you to underscore three words in that passage. I want you to underscore in verse 22 the word, simple. And then I want you to underscore the word, scorners, and then I want you to underscore the word, fools.
I want to talk to you today about how to be the father of a wise child. And what you have here in this one verse in Proverbs chapter 1 verse 22 is what I want to call the evolution of a fool. And God have mercy upon the man, the woman, who has a fool for a daughter, a fool for a son. Children begin as simple. The word simple simply means open. It means naive. The Hebrew word is the word open. It has nothing to do with intellectual ability. We're not talking about a simpleton. We're not talking about a person who does not have gray matter. As a matter of fact, a simple child may grow up to be a doctor, a lawyer, an architect, a politician, may even grow up to be a minister; simple, simple. Just simply means plastic mentality, open, naive. So just write the word naive by the word simple. And then the next word he mentions is the scorner.
Now, the scorner's different from the simple. The simple is more or less innocent. But the scorner, today just write the word smart aleck, smart aleck, or in business write the word cynic. Or in the university you might write the word sophisticate. These are the scornful; the scornful. But then the next step is the fool, the fool. Now write by the word fool, the word rebel, arrogant, wicked. Again the word fool does not have the idea that a person is lacking in mental ability. He may be very wise to do evil. The word has a moral base. It means without any ability to discern.
Now we are in serious trouble in America. And I'll tell you what happened in America. In 1962, prayer in public schools was declared unconstitutional. In 1963 in America, Bible reading in the public school was declared unconstitutional. In 1973, the killing of pre-born children was declared to be a right guaranteed by the Constitution. In 1980, the Ten Commandments were deemed to be illegal to be posted on school walls. And one of the reasons why they said so, if a child read those commandments, they said, "He might be tempted to emulate them". And so, they're taken down. You see, the secular humanists have proven to be great strategists. They tried to find one segment of life that almost every American child will pass through, that is, education. So they targeted public education to be the Sunday schools for their humanistic philosophy. And in order to do that, they wanted to purge out any vestige of Christian influence.
So what has happened in the last years? Well, prayer is out, policemen are in. Bibles are out, values clarification is in. The Ten Commandments are out, rape and armed robbery, gang warfare, murder and cheating are in. Instruction that tells us that we were created in the image of God is out, evolution is in. Corporal punishment is out, disrespect and rebellion is in. Traditional values are out and unwed motherhood is in. Abstinence is out and condoms and abortion are in. Learning is out and social engineering is in. History is out and revisionism is in. And the problem primarily, believe it or not, is with fathers. Arrogant fathers who fail to accept their responsibility. I want to talk to dads today, and I want to tell you how not to be the father of a fool. How to be the father of a wise child.
Now go back to these three categories of persons that we looked at here in verse 22, and let me describe them more carefully and I think you'll recognize some children that you know. First of all, let's think of the ignorance of the simple. How is he described? Look if you will in Romans 1 verse 22, "How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity"? That's his first mark. He loves his simplicity. He enjoys being a child. He enjoys the carefree life. He doesn't like any serious thoughts. One teenager said, "I am worried. My Dad slaves away at his job so I won't have to need for a thing and so I can have a college education. My mom spends every day washing and ironing and picking up my things and looking after me. And she takes care of me when I'm sick". His friend said, "You're worried? What are you worried about"? He said, "I'm afraid they might try to escape".
The children just love having everything done for them, the carefree simple life. That's the life of the simple. But not only that, he lacks understanding. Go to Proverbs chapter 9. And by the way, we're going to stay in Proverbs, and so get your Bibles open and keep them in your lap. Proverbs chapter 9 verses 1 through 4, "Wisdom hath builded her house. She hath hewn out her seven pillars. She hath killed her beasts. She hath mingled her wine. She hath also furnished her table. She hath sent forth her maidens. She crieth upon the highest places of the city". That is, wisdom has prepared a banquet of learning knowledge and truth. And notice to whom the invitation goes, "Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither. As for him that wanteth or needeth understanding".
Now, a simple person loves his simplicity, he lacks understanding. As I say, one day he may be a lawyer, a banker, or a surgeon, but he lacks spiritual wisdom and spiritual understanding. He just doesn't know. Now, because he's carefree, and because he lacks understanding, he is easily led into error. Turn to Proverbs 14 and look in verse 15. Here's a key verse about the simple, "The simple believeth every word". Now just put that down. "The simple believeth every word". Remember I told you that the Hebrew word for simple means open? He believes every word. That is, he's easily led. "But the prudent man looketh well to his going". And so a simple child is easily led.
Now listen, let me tell you something. It doesn't mean he doesn't believe something. He will believe something! He'll believe anything! He's an easy target for Madison Avenue. He's an easy target for MTV, for false religions, for sinful friends. He's like a sponge. He believes everything. He's easily led into error because he's so open. I heard about a young, simple boy who had some puppies and his mama said, "You have to get rid of all of them but one". So he was trying to sell the last puppy and he was trying to sell it for $5 and a grown man said, "Son, the reason you can't sell that puppy is that you didn't put a high enough price for him and people don't think he's worth much".
And so he came back the next day the boy said, "Well sir, I have decided that I am going to sell this puppy for $100". "Well," the man said, "Son, I didn't mean that much. But see if you can do it". Later on, he saw the man and said, "Sir, I want you to know I sold my puppy". He said, "Did you get a hundred dollars"? He said, "Indeed I did". He said, "Well, not exactly". Said, "I took two $50 cats". Now, that's the simple child. He's easily led into error. You can trick him. You can flim-flam him. But, he's living in constant danger. Look at that verse again, chapter 14 verse 15, "The simple believeth every word, but a prudent man looketh well to his going".
Now a child doesn't do that. He doesn't look forward; he doesn't plan for the future. And therefore he's living in danger. Look in chapter 22 in verse 3, "A prudent man forseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on and are punished". What does that mean? That means that if a person were wise and prudent, he would see danger. But the simple child thinks he's indestructible. They never think about the future. And therefore your child is like a pig being led to the slaughter. Now that's the simple for you. He's careless, he's carefree, he's easily led, he thinks he's indestructible. He has no idea about danger. He just passes on and is punished.
Now, let's move on and think not only about the simple but think about the scorner. You see, the next step after a person is naive, he becomes, if he's not led by his dad and his mom, he becomes a smart aleck in school, he's the cynic in business; he's the mocker at the university. Now what are his marks? Well, go back again to chapter 1, Proverbs chapter 1 and verse 22 and look at it, "How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity," now watch this, "and the scorners," now watch this, "delight in their scorning"? He delights in his scorning. He gets his jollies out of being a smart aleck. And what a terrible condition this is. It breaks my heart to say it, but most teenagers, older teenagers in America are now scorners. We've lost a generation. They are now scorners. They have the devil's initials carved in their hearts. They have his slimy fingerprints on their minds. And because he delights in scorning, he defies instruction.
Turn to Proverbs chapter 13 and look if you will in verse 1, "A wise son heareth his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke". Boy, underscore that. Dads you need to learn this. "A wise son heareth, hears his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke". You can always tell a scorner, but you can't tell him much. He won't listen. He'll tune you out. He has ears but he will not hear. And when you talk to him, it's like pouring water on a rock. It's like talking to a brick wall. But not only does he delight in his scorning, not only does he defy instruction, but he literally despises the good and the godly.
Look in chapter 15 verse 12, "A scorner loveth not the one that reproveth him; neither will he go unto the wise". A scorner will never come to his dad and say, "Dad, I need help. Will you help me out"? He'll never go to his teacher, his pastor, his youth pastor and say, "Will you help me"? Oh no. As a matter of fact, when you try to correct the scorner what's going to happen is, he is going to look at you and he's going to say with his eyes, "I hate your guts". Rebuke a scorner and he will insult you. Turn to Proverbs chapter 9 and verses 7 and 8. I told you that you were going to be turning a lot, so just do it. Listen to it, "He that reproveth a scorner getteth himself shame and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot. Reprove not a scorner lest he hate thee. Rebuke a wise man and he will love thee".
And so, you just rebuke a scorner and he will fire back at you. You cannot tell him anything. He will shoot off the lip at you. Now, I pray God that you'll not raise a scorner. This message may be too late for some people already today. Now a scorner was once simple, but he became a scorner. And what is going to happen to him is; he's destined for destruction. Look in Proverbs chapter 13 and verse 1, "A wise son heareth his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke". We've already read that, but now I want you to skip on down to verse 13, "Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed".
He won't listen. And God says he's destined for destruction. He laughs at you, but he'll laugh his way right into Hell, and once he's there he can't laugh his way out. But there is some hope for the scorner. The scorner's very hard to reach. But the scorner can be reclaimed. But now I want you to think about the third category. First we said there was the simple, the naive, the open, the carefree. He becomes then the smart aleck, the scorner if he's not taught. But then the scorner becomes a fool. Now go back to the text again in Proverbs chapter 1 and look at in verse 22, "How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity"? The simple one loves his carefree life. And the scorners delight in their scorning. The smart aleck gets his jollies out of his scorning. But now notice, "And fools hate knowledge".
Now here's the difference. The scorner is insolent, but the fool is immovable. Now notice what he does. The fool rejects wisdom. He hates wisdom. Look in Proverbs chapter 15 and verse 14, "The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge, but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness". Now, they love foolishness. They literally feed on foolishness. He literally rejects wisdom and then he ridicules righteousness. Look in Proverbs 14 verse 9, "Fools make a mock at sin". "Fools make a mock at sin". That's the reason that you have these situational comedies that laugh at drunkenness; that laugh at adultery, that mock homosexuality and perversion. They mock at sin. Do you know who does that? Fools. Fools make a mock at sin. That's what the Bible says. He rejects wisdom, he ridicules righteousness, but he's not finished yet. He literally rejoices in iniquity.
Proverbs 15 verses 20 and 21, look at that, "A wise son maketh a glad father, but a foolish man despiseth his mother. Folly is a joy to him that is destitute of wisdom". He, he just actually rejoices in this, this wickedness. His moral sense has been so perverted that he thinks good is evil and evil is good. You might want to put down on your notes Isaiah chapter 5 and verse 20, "Woe unto them that call evil good and good evil, that put darkness for light and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter". Now, what's going to happen to the fool? The fool's going to die and go to Hell.
Turn to Proverbs chapter 17 and verse 10, "A reproof entereth more into a wise man than a hundred stripes into a fool". You cannot beat the foolishness out of a child. Don't even try it. Don't even try it. Can't be done. He won't hear you. He is intransigent. He is fixed. His heart is hardened. His conscience is seared. His mind is defiled. Now if he were wise he could still go wrong. But if he went wrong and God chastised him, then he would repent. Hebrews 12:6, "Whom the Father loves He chastens and scourges every son whom He receiveth". King David sinned terribly, but King David was a wise man in spite of his sin. And when God chastised King David, King David repented, and he cried out to God for mercy. Pharaoh was a fool. And when God judged Pharaoh, Pharaoh just hardened his heart more and more and more.
And if you have a child and you have raised a fool, and then you think when he's 18 and 185 pounds that you're going to give him a whipping, just forget it! All you're going to do is to make him hate you all the more. A hundred stripes on the back of a fool is not going to do any good. Putting him in prison is not. He needs to be in prison if he commits a crime, but it's not going to change him. And by the way, the purpose of prisons is not reformation, it's punishment. But it's not going to change him. It's going to make society a little safer. But you see, God gives us little children, and they're what we call simple. But if you're not careful, we have a society that's going to turn him into a smart aleck. And if he does, if he's not rescued when he's become a scorner and a smart aleck, he's going to become a fool and he's going to end up in Hell. He won't even know the difference between right and wrong.
Well, let's go back in the few moments that we have left and look at the simple, the naive, the carefree child. What can you do, dads, what can you do, moms, so as not to raise a fool? I want to mention four things. Number one, you need to expound truth. Go back to Proverbs chapter 1 and look in verses 1 through 4, "The Proverbs of Solomon the son of David, King of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice and judgment and equity, to give subtly to the simple and to the young man knowledge and discretion". That's why God gave you the Proverbs.
I have four good and godly children, but if I could start over with my children again, I would saturate them in the Proverbs. We read the Proverbs, but I believe I would saturate them in the Proverbs. I would! I would emblazon the Ten Commandments into their consciousness. I would teach them the Beatitudes, that they might learn these simple, basic truths! Expound truth! The battle is for the mind. As the child thinks, so is he. And who is the major teacher? The major teacher is the father. You read in Deuteronomy chapter 5 where God gave the Ten Commandments, and then in Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse 2, God says to fathers, "Teach these commandments to your sons and to your grandsons that your family will survive and that your home will endure".
So you're going to have to fill in the outline, I'm just going to give you the main points. Number one, expound truth. Number two, expose sin, expose sin. The simple will learn by example. Turn to Proverbs chapter 19 and verse 15, please. This is a key verse. Now watch this, "Smite a scorner and the simple will beware". Underscore that. "Smite a scorner and the simple will beware. And reprove one that hath understanding and he will understand knowledge". Now what does that mean? It means that a child who is carefree and careless, who is simple, needs to see the scorner smitten. He needs to see sin exposed and the fruit of sin, because often he does not see it. Look in Proverbs 21 verse 11, the same thing is taught, "When the scorner is punished, the simple is made wise". "When the scorner is punished, the simple is made wise".
Now what does that mean? Do you know the worst thing that could happen to your child? Would be for your child to live in such a sinful society as we have and yet for your child not to see the repercussions of sin. For example, he watches on television and he sees people sleeping together. But he never sees anybody get pregnant. He never sees an abortion. He never sees venereal disease. He never sees the breakup of a home. He doesn't see that. He doesn't see the scorner being smitten. He sees the guys in the bass boat hoisting a big can of beer and smacking their lips and slapping each other and hugging each other and giving each other high fives and saying, "It never gets any better than this".
That's right. It doesn't even get that good as a matter of fact. It always gets worse than that. But, Madison Avenue never shows him a drunkard in the gutter covered with vomit and flies. He doesn't show the alcoholic with delirium tremens. He doesn't show a man, a beered-up dad coming home and beating up his kids. Madison Avenue doesn't do that. You see, they don't get to see the scorner smitten. Our children today are insulated. They don't know. That's the reason that you need to help them to understand. You need to expose sin. Not only expound truth, but expose sin.
If you're a dad and you've got a 9, 10, 12, 14 year old, you need to go some Friday and Saturday nights to the emergency room in the hospital about between 11 and 1:00. And let them see these people coming in after having gone through the windshield of an automobile, after having been beered-up. Let them see these people all sliced up and mangled. Take him down to skid row. Take him to the prisons. Let him see this. "Smite the scorner and the simple will learn". He thinks he's indestructible. He does not know. You need to pull back the veil. You know, we have a society today that shrinks from punishing criminals, and that's the reason why we're producing more. Let me give you a verse of Scripture. Ecclesiastes chapter 8 verse 11, listen to it, this is a key verse, "Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily; therefore, the heart of the sons of men," that is, your sons, "is fully set in them to do evil".
Let me give it to you again, "Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily". There's one appeal and then another appeal, and then another appeal and then another appeal. A boy in the ghetto can see his friends standing on the street comer selling dope. He can see the undercover agent come and arrest him. He's carried off. He's kind of smiling as they carry him off. He's kind of a hero. Two or three days, he's right back on the same comer selling dope again. Now what does that say in the hearts and minds of others? They say there's no connection between crime and punishment. Ecclesiastes chapter 8 verse 11, "Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily; therefore, the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil". What you need to do is expound truth and expose error! Pull away the veil.
Now here's the third thing, and I'll get some disagreement about this, but I'm going to say it anyway. Expel scorners. Expound truth. Expose error. And expel scorners. Turn if you will to Proverbs chapter 13 and look with me in verse 20, "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise. But a companion of fools shall be destroyed". Moms and dads, underscore that. "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed". Turn to Proverbs 22 and verse 10, "Cast out the scorner and contention shall go out. Yea, strife and reproach shall cease". Cast out the scorner! Now every so often we hear that this disruptive child, for his sake, needs to be able to stay there and disrupt everybody else. But that's not what the Bible teaches. You're not doing him any good. You're only feeding his ego and depravity, and you are definitely corrupting those that he is around. The Bible says, "Cast him out".
Now listen, do not let your children hang around with scorners and fools. Just don't do it. You help him select his friends. And that means you may have to be firm and cast out the scorner. Why? Because your child, if your child is naive, if your child is simple, they are going to be susceptible to peer pressure. And as somebody said, "It's hard to fly with eagles when you're surrounded with turkeys". You just let your kids run with turkeys and the Bible says, "A companion of fools will be destroyed". Now peer pressure is not bad. It is good if the peers are good. So that's all the more reason that you need to get the right kids in your home. And that's all the more reason that you need to make your home the headquarters for happiness. You need to say, "Come in Mary, Susie, Bill, John, Martha, whomever, Michelle, come on into our house. You can have the house. You want to have a party? Have it over here. Boys, you want to raid the refrigerator, go ahead and do it. You want to break down the couch, that's okay. You want to track the carpet, that's okay".
Friend, those things are small compared to your children. Let you home be the happiest place on earth. And by the way, boy, when you have them there, you can monitor those friends. And when there's a scorner, a smart aleck, or a fool, you say, "Son, there's the sidewalk. Get on it". That's right. The Bible says, "Cast out the scorner and contention will cease"! Joyce and I have always tried to have the right guests in our home and make certain when the guests are there that the children are there. If we're having important people in our home, what I consider to be important, I don't mean the high muckety mucks, the rich, the wealthy, and the famous. I'm talking about people who know God and love God and people of character. We want our children at the dinner table to listen to the conversation and enjoy the conversation and participate in the conversation. And friend, the Bible says that, "A companion of fools will be destroyed, but those who are around wise people will be made wise".
Here's the last thing, and you're going to have to fill in the last point. But you need to expound truth. You need to expose sin. You need to expel scorners and you need to express love. You need to express love. Look in Proverbs chapter 3 and verse 12. The Bible says here, "For whom the Lord loveth He correcteth, even as a father the son in whom he delighteth". Love your children! Delight in them. Be positive! Don't ever be negative. Words can hurt your children more than an open hand and a slap in the face. Learn to listen to them. Try to see life from their point of view. They're facing things you never faced. Be gentle. I have observed dads. I say, why is it that some children just adore and worship their dads almost, and others hate their dads? What is the difference in dads?
And there's one characteristic that I've almost found in all true dads whose children love and follow them; those dads are gentle, they're gentle. And it starts when they're children. Can you image what a big, harsh, overbearing dad would do to a little guy? I mean, just imagine walking out of this building this morning, just imagine walking out there, out there on the front porch is a guy 17 feet tall. You're looking in his knee caps. And let's say he has a voice like thunder. And he begins to talk to you and tell you what to do. My soul! Well, if he's that big and sounds like that, one thing you sure do hope is that he's gentle, don't you?
That's what the children want out of their dad; somebody who's gentle. Oh, they want a dad they can look up to. They want a dad who's the strongest, wisest, smartest, fastest, richest, goodest dad. I know goodest is not a word. The best dad in all the world! But they want him to be gentle! Touch them, hug them, show other non-verbal language. Be transparent. Let them know of your fears, and your joys, and your disappointments, your failures, and your goals. They already know you're not perfect; they just don't want you to be a phony. And then, be available to them. Oh, l wish l had more time for that, but just take it as a priority that you're going to be available to your child.
You say, "Pastor Rogers, very frankly I'm not adequate for what you've just described". I know you're not. I'm not adequate. Listen to me, none of us has what it takes to be this kind of a dad or mom. That's the reason we need Jesus isn't it? That's the reason we need the Lord. That's the reason we've got to have Christ in our hearts! Because the Christian life is not difficult, it is impossible. So there's only one who can do it and that's Jesus. But He will do it in us and through us if we'll let Him. So the best thing you can do for your children is to love God will all of your heart. Give your heart to Jesus.
Let's bow our heads in prayer. Heads are bowed and eyes are closed. If you would like to be saved today, to be a child of God, if you'd like to know that your sin is forgiven, if you would like to know that Heaven is your home, if you would like to have the power and wisdom that Jesus alone can give, I want to help you to invite Christ into your heart and trust Him. Would you pray like this?
Dear Lord, I need You. I need to be saved. I'm a sinner. My sin deserves judgment. But l need mercy, not judgment. I want You to forgive me, God. I want You to cleanse me. I want You to save me. Lord Jesus, You said if I would trust You, You would save me. I trust You right now, right this moment. I don't ask for a sign. I don't look for a feeling. I just stand on Your Word, and I receive You now as my Lord and Savior. Come into my heart, forgive my sin, save me Jesus.
Pray that prayer. Pray it. Pray it from your heart. "Save me, Jesus". Pray it. Ask Him to save you. "Save me, Jesus". Did you ask Him? By faith, pray this way:
Thank You for saving me, Lord Jesus. I receive it by faith, like a little child. You're now my Lord and Savior. Give me the courage to make it public. In Your name I pray, Amen.