Jack Graham - Training Ground

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There is no person that God cannot save! There is no promise that God will not keep! There is nothing that our God cannot do! Open your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 22. And the title of this message is "Training Ground". For the Scripture says: "Train up a child in the way that he should go and even when he is old, he will not depart from it". The Message renders this verse with these words: "Point your kids in the right direction. When they're old, they won't be lost".

Let me remind you that a parable is not an iron-clad rule, because many of us know, perhaps you're one yourself, who raised up your children to know and love and follow Jesus and as of yet it's not happened. But we keep praying for them, don't we? And those prodigals, that they would return. But as a general practice of parenting, when we train our children, teaching them and then training them in skillful living, and that's what the proverbs are really about. Because being a parent is not so much about the rules. We all have rules within the relationship of our home and our family. And we should have good rules and yet, it's more than rules, isn't it? I say it's not about the rules; it's about the tools that we give our children to grow.

And that was what God had in mind when He gave us through a parent the words of the proverbs. And in reality, Proverbs, you could describe it as a parenting manual. There's so much wisdom and wisdom is seeing things from God's perspective. And if you really want to get down to it, wisdom is skillful, successful living. That's what wisdom is. Skillful, successful living God's way. And so we have these proverbs that when practiced as a general rule and as a tool in our lives we can say, we can count on the fact when we train up our children, when we point them in the direction of the path that God has for them, when they are old then they will not be lost, and that is a wonderful principle.

Now let me say to all of the mothers here today that what the heart is to the body, the mother is to the home. Because you are pumping life's blood into your children. You do it everyday with your love and your labor, your dedication and most especially, your example of a Christian mother. Being a mom is a calling way beyond a career. No career can match the calling of God upon our lives and certainly your calling as a mother. It's the most important job you will ever have! Do you believe that? One woman put it this way, a mom put it this way, that motherhood is a complex beautiful challenge worthy of everything mom can give to it. And I agree. It is a complex and beautiful challenge.

You know if you are a parent and to all the moms today, especially I would say that motherhood is a marathon; it's not a short sprint but really for a lifetime. And all the moms here, though our relationships and roles change when our children grow and leave the home, you never stop being a mom, do you? You never stop praying for your children and loving them and serving them in every way you can. So being a mother, just like being a father is a lifetime assignment. And moms, your worth as a woman is beyond measure because you set the tone, the atmosphere; you are the thermostat I would say in the home. And your home, your family is designed by God to be a training ground where we prepare young men and women for successful life and living.

The Bible says in the book of Proverbs that "From the heart flow all the issues of life". And so the hearts of our children, this is our training ground. And so what we want to do as moms and dads is to give our children tools for successful living. Choose your children, men and women, moms and dads, over everything. You will never ever regret it! A hundred years from now, a thousand years from now, when you are in heaven, it won't matter what kind of car you drove, it won't matter what kind of house you lived in, it will not matter what kind of job you may have accomplished; what matters is that your children believe, and that your children will follow you to heaven one day; that you would live for Christ and lead your children for Christ and to Christ.

The goal of parenting, what is it? What is the goal of parenting? It is to train our children to know God, to love Him, to honor Him and glorify Him all the days of their lives. The goal, God's way is heart transformation. It's not just behavior modification, there's a place for that. But our goal as moms and dads is heart transformation. We aim for the hearts of our children. We pray and we work and believe that our children would follow Christ and pursue His plan for their lives. Tools, not rules. So what tools does God give us? What are the tools that our children need?

There are five tools that I want to mention to you for raising your children, right out of God's Word. And the first one I'm going to mention is reverence. Train your children in reverence. Give them this tool. Proverbs 1, verse 7. Remember, it's a parenting manual and this father Solomon, the wisest man on earth, inspired by the Holy Spirit said that "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction". So reverence is the first thing that we must always teach. The foundational thing we teach. To honor God, to teach our children in a culture that is anti-God and increasingly anti-Christ and hostile to the Christian faith, to teach our children to know who God is and from God's Word to teach us and to train us what He is like, and to walk with Him. This was given to us in the Old Testament. It's called the Shema.

In Deuteronomy 6, verse 5-8. How do we do this? How do we teach our children reverence? Bringing them to church? Does that do it? Well, it helps but that's not the first and foremost thing you should do as a mother or a father. Here's what we should do according to Deuteronomy 6:5-8: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might", so start there, mom and dad, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart". There's the training ground again. And what should he do? "You shall teach them to your children diligently", or faithfully. It's work. "And you shall talk of them", how? "When you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you", get up or when you, "rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes".

So how are we to train our children? In everyday living by walking together in Christ. To love God and to follow Him. And before we can pass the faith along to our children, we must possess the faith ourselves. That's why He says to parents, "Love God with all your heart, soul and mind". And then with your children, with your family, live it out day after day. Give your children God's Word. Show your children God's love. Don't depend on luck because it's not going to just happen or chance. Don't depend on the latest self-help book, but the essential Book for raising your children is This Book; this is God's Word. And when you teach your children, not by cramming it down their throats, but by naturally and even supernaturally as you walk with God, your children will see you, they will hear you and you take advantage.

One thing that you can do that we've always tried to do as parents, Deb and me, and that is to seize the moments when the child is the most teachable, when the child is responsive. And you can, if you pay attention know what that moment is. But it should be a natural thing, that faith is at the foundation of your family and reverence of God, teaching your children that God is great, that God is good, that He is loving, that He is forgiving, that you can experience His presence in your life. How do we train our children? By modeling what Bible says ourselves. Do it! Live it! Your example speaks much louder than even your words. And your children are watching you and that is what is most important. Our children know what our real priorities are in life, if the Lord Jesus is number one in our lives.

"Parents know", and this is a quote, "Parents know that if your kids see you treating church as optional, they will eventually see God as unnecessary". It's true. Our children know what our priorities are. And if God is first in your life, if Jesus is first in our lives, our children will know that by our actions. You probably know Allie Beth Stuckey. Allie Beth Stuckey is an influencer, a Conservative Christian thinker and influencer, and I saw this from Allie Beth that I wanted to share with you today. Allie Beth is the daughter of Ron and Lisa Simmons here in our church.

Here's what she said: "I grew up in a Southern Baptist conservative home with parents who had strict rules about what TV shows I could watch and what music I could listen to. I was 8 (she throws this in for good measure.) I was 8 during the 2000 election and my parents had to lie to me that night assuring me the election was over and that Bush had won, so that I could go to bed without worrying. We went to church every Wednesday and Sunday and sometimes Sunday nights. I went to Christian camps and youth groups and events where purity culture was taught. My Christian school had a 24/7 policy which meant you could be suspended or expelled for drinking, doing drugs or having sex on or off campus during or outside of the school year.

And guess what? I'm thankful for all of it! I don't agree with every theological or political position of my upbringing but I'm still a Christian, still a Baptist, and I still have a great relationship with my parents. I'm not only NOT traumatized by this 'scary evangelical upbringing or childhood'; I'm immensely grateful for it. I can't thank my parents enough for the foundation of church-going and Christian education they gave me. Wouldn't trade it for the world. My husband has the same story. We are all surrounded by family members we love who are in healthy marriages and are raising their kids in the Lord. The Christian foundation is a good one"!

Amen, Allie Beth. Second tool, and I know my time is short. So we're going to have to tool on right here! The second one is respect. The second tool is teach your children respect. Ephesians 6:1 says "Children, obey your parents for this is right in the Lord". Teach your children, having reverenced God, then to respect themselves, to respect their parents. That is at the heart of the Ten Commandments, to honor your mother and your father. To respect your possessions. Teach your children to treat their possessions well. To respect people, including national leaders, spiritual leaders, classroom leaders. This is critical. I know it can be difficult. Sometimes our kids smart off and sass us. (She said, "All right now".)

You know it's true. I heard about a father who was watching with his 14-year-old girl a documentary about death and dying, of all things. And he was so moved by what he saw, he turned to his 14-year-old daughter and he said to her, "Remember to live every day, sweet girl, like it was your last"! And the 14-year-old girl said, "I tried that once and you grounded me for two months". But teach them to respect their families, their friends, Church, spiritual leaders. And dads, make sure your kids respect their mom. We didn't have very many rules in our household: One rule was: Always tell the truth because you'll be in a lot more trouble if you don't than if you do. And then respect one another and especially your mom. Our children knew the fastest way they could get in a ditch with me was to sass their mom.

Teach your children respect. Then teach them responsibility. In Proverbs chapter 6:6, 10-11, "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! ...A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come upon you like a robber and want like an armed man". Teach your children responsibility. That includes a strong work ethic and that's what I'm getting at as I read you that proverb. "If a man will not work, neither shall he eat". Children must accept responsibility. Teach them responsibility. That has to do with duties. Give them little chores and things to do in the home. It has to do with responsibility by making wise decisions, choses.

Decisions. The child who is never given responsibility will grow up and not be responsible. So give them responsibilities. That includes not only with duties and decisions but dollars. Give them some money to manage and teach them to be generous; teach them to tithe. My parents taught me to take the fifty cents that I got for an allowance each week and to tithe it; that was a nickel. And at first it really bothered me because a nickel equaled a pack of baseball cards that I didn't think I was getting. But I learned how to give the first tenth to the Lord. Once again, what's the example? What example are you giving in terms of priorities with your dollars, your money, your decisions?

You don't want your children to grow up entitled! You want them to accept responsibility. Children need boundaries and so that means it requires discipline. It means we regard and reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. And obedience comes from love and respect. You train your children to be obedient. When they start as toddlers and if you'll do a good job when they're younger, you'll have less work to do when they're older. Remember, responsibility. Remember also, you are the parent, not their best friend. And because you are the parent, you're to lead them and they are to follow. One other, and that is the tool of resilience.

Now this is an important tool to teach our children. There is a mom in the New Testament, and a mother by the name of Eunice and a grandmother by the name of Lois and Paul said to Timothy, "I'm reminded of your sincere faith". This is 2 Timothy 1:5-7. "I'm reminded of your sincere faith; a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and now I'm sure dwells in you as well". You see the chain and the legacy of faith unfolding there. And he said, "For this reason I remind you to fan the flame of the gift of God". He says to his son in the ministry and to the child of Lois and Eunice. He said, "I remind you to fan the flame of the gift of God which is in you for the laying on of hands". What? "For God has given us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control".

Well, what should every child learn like Timothy? Strength of character, mental strength, moral strength. What I'm calling resilience. And did you know our primary job, moms and dads, is not to protect our children. I know we all have the protective instinct and there is a sense in which we are protecting our children when they're little, as they're growing. But at some point, the hands have to come off and that means you should not just protect your children, but prepare your children for life. And there's a big difference. Prepare your children to stand alone for Christ in the culture. Prepare your children to resist the undertow of the world, to say no to the crowd and if necessary, to stand by yourself for Christ.

Have you ever heard a lawnmower parents? Moms and dads who are always interfering with what's going on in their children's life. This includes emailing teachers about your children's grades. Ha, or texting your coach about your child's playing time. Setting up, contacting potential employers in behalf of your children. You see, they're lawnmower parents. And God help you if you get in their way. But if you're a lawnmower parent, you're actually setting your children back because they're not learning resilience, they're not learning how to overcome obstacles for themselves, they're not accepting responsibility for their mistakes, and they grow up having no idea how to handle struggles and difficulty and disappointments.

Our children need to learn how to deal with disappointments. And you can't do that for them. This is an essential part of growing up. What we want to do is to teach our children determination and mental strength to help them keep getting up when they get knocked down. You can help them; you can give them a hand; you can cheer them in life, but, parents, trust God with your children! Give your children God. I know we're all scared in this generation about what's going on and what our children are facing, but they have to face it, to be strong, vital and yes, God fearing, God loving adults.

I read this from a man by the name... I don't even know who he is. His name is Mark Weber. But he said, "Don't feel sorry for or fear for your kids or your grandkids because the world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be. God created them and called them for this exact moment in time that they're in. Their life wasn't a coincident or an accident. Right? Raise them up to know the power they walk in as children of God. Train them up in the authority of God's Word. Teach them to walk in faith, knowing that God is in control. Empowering them to know they can change the world. Don't teach them to be fearful or disheartened by the state of the world, but hopeful that they can do something about it. Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God's sovereign plan. He knew Daniel could handle the lion's den; He knew David could handle Goliath; He knew Esther could handle Haman; He knew Peter could handle persecution. He knows that your child can handle whatever challenge they face in life. He created them specifically for it".

So give your child the tool of resilience, of grit that comes from the grace of God. And that brings me to the last thing. Give them redemption. I'm talking about salvation in Jesus Christ. Lead your children to faith. You see, you can grow up in the finest and the best of Christian homes and not know Jesus. And so your children don't get the faith by osmosis or by accident. But we give them every opportunity to hear the Gospel of Christ, starting in our own homes and our own families, because, look, the goal, again, is to bring up our children to love God and honor Him and serve Him and glorify Him and pass the faith to their own children.

A woman by the name of Miss Sally Clarkson said this, "The mission of motherhood. I don't want my kids just to be moral; I don't just want them to know all the biblical rules for behavior; I don't want them to go through my home with good grades and no drug addictions and no premarital sex. I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by Him to accomplish great things for His kingdom". Amen? So give your children the opportunity to know and follow Jesus.