Charles Stanley — No Greater Love
Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that one would lay down his life for a friend". That's an awesome statement when you begin to think about what He's really said. But probably one of the most misunderstood, misused words in our vocabulary is the word love. We spell it L-O-V-E and we put loving chocolate candy and loving somebody, loving a sport; we put all of those things in the same category. Well, in the Greek language they didn't do that. They made it much more specific.
And when I think about the way people use love today, here's what they're really saying, some people really and truly genuinely love. But some people when they say, I love you, what they're saying is, I want you. I desire you. I lust for you. Or I need you. But very few people know how to say I love you with the kind of love that Jesus was talking about in the Scripture. And so we use it rather casually. And I want us to see in this passage of Scripture in a few moments, what it's really all about when Jesus said, No greater love has anyone than this that you lay down your life for your friends.
So you're sitting there thinking, Well, do you mean to tell me that for me to express true, genuine love that I've got to die? Well, keep listening and let's see if you're going to live or not. And so, I want us to look to see what He says in the thirteenth and fifteenth chapters of John because I want to read two verses in each one of these. And Jesus the night before He's going to be crucified, saying to His disciples over and over and over again many things especially about the Holy Spirit. But here's what He says in the thirty-fourth verse of the thirteenth chapter, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this shall all men know that you are My disciples, that you have love one to another".
So three times He says it. Then if you will look in the fifteenth chapter and the twelfth and thirteenth verses, here's what He says, "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you". What an awesome statement. What a requirement. What pressure almost. Listen, "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one would lay down his life for his friends".
Now L-O-V-E what does that mean? Well, in the Greek language, they had four different words for love. One of them was eros, E-R-O-S, which is, passion, infatuation, sexual love. That word is not found in the Bible. Then a second word is storge which is a word that refers to family love. Like a mother for the child and vice versa. Then there's phileo love which is a word that means a genuine, warm, intimate friendship. That is, it's love but it's the kind of love that friends would have toward each other. But genuine love at that. And then of course the last word is agape love. And that is, in essence it means sacrificial love. Because is there any such thing as true, genuine love until first of all I deny myself in behalf of the other person.
So I would simply ask you this, who do you love sacrificially? Who do you love beyond want, need, desire, lust? Who do you love beyond those four descriptions? Well, it's interesting what Jesus says here because He deals with love in a whole different level than we think about it. And as we said before, love is the denial of oneself in behalf of someone else. So look at this first of all, Jesus commands us to love one another. And how many times He said that in just one verse, love one another, love one another, love one another. In every single one of these verses, Jesus uses the word agape love, sacrificial love. It's the love that put Him on the cross. It's the love in first Corinthians thirteen which is the love chapter. It's the love when it comes to the Fruit of the Spirit. It's the love that Jesus always talked about, loving one another. He talked about sacrificial love, not just a life friendship.
And I think in today when there's so much hurt and so much pain. And so many people suffering loss of all different kinds. Not only from finances to their loved ones in war. We ought to understand what true, genuine love is all about. Because when we do, our relationship with God is different. Our relationships with each other are different. They're far more meaningful, far more satisfying and far more rewarding. So what did He mean by that? Well, when He used this word sacrificial here or the other word, agape. He also said to them that He was giving them a new commandment.
Well, that's not new. For example in Deuteronomy the sixth chapter He says we're to love the Lord God with all of our heart, soul, mind and body. That is, is total love. And so, what was new about this? Here's what was new about it, what was new about this love is that it was to be a sacrificial love. A love that put other people first. Not just loving God. Not just loving each other with a nominal kind of of of a little little light love. But true, genuine, sacrificial, that's what He was telling them to love each other that way. And so, it was a different kind of love.
So He wasn't saying that it was new in light of that no one had ever said it before. But was new because He raised the standard. He lifted up high. It was God's kind of love that was a whole different understanding for them. And when I think about that and I think about what He said in this passage, "Love one another, even as I have loved you". He's talking about sacrificial love. That is, the love that you and I have for people, when we walk around them and live around them and people see us, the quality of love we have is not what the world sees as love. It isn't just talking about it. It's more than talk. And He says for example it's got to be more, it's got to be more than what's on your lips. Because a true, genuine expression of love is not just saying that I love you but it's an action.
And this is the kind of love that Jesus was talking about when He said, You're to love one another. You're to love not by just simply saying, I love you. In fact those three words are cheap unless they come from a heart that understands what true, genuine giving of oneself to another is all about. So I want to put four words up on the screen. And let's think about them for a moment. How did Jesus love? And you think about whether He was at Lazarus' tomb or whether He was meeting Mary and Martha out there to comfort her. Or whether He was healing Bartimaeus. Or He whether He was just sitting with His disciples out on the ship. All the things would come, how did He love them?
Well, first of all. He loved them selflessly. And this is what He said, that you and I are to love each other selflessly. That is, our love is not about us. Our love is to be about the other person. They're the object of our loving. So it's so easy these days when you say, I love you. Do you have in mind I love you because I want something from you? Or do I love you because of just who you are? We think in terms of love as making us happy. Well true, genuine love is selfless. And it may mean that I may have to suffer if I love you. And so, when Jesus said we're to love as He loved, that's the way He loved. No, no, for example I think about how they responded. And how Jesus responded to them. It was always selflessly.
He wasn't saying, Do this for Me, do that for Me. He said, I want, I love you, and I want you to love one another like I love you. Not thinking of myself but thinking about the other person. When you say, I love you to someone, what do you really and truly mean? Do you mean I care for you? I'm thinking about you? I want what's best for you? And I want to do whatever I can to help you to become the person you ought to be? Or are you thinking about what it's going to get you? You see, selfless love isn't centered on self. It's selfless. It's you that's important. It's the other person. How you feel? What happens to you? What what are your needs? Not what I think they are. But what are they? That's the way He loved.
A second way He loved is this, He loves understandingly. Thank God He does. What do I mean by that? Simply this, when Jesus loved those disciples of His and He said we're to love as He did. He loved them with understanding. He understood that they were weak, at times they were afraid. They were frail in their emotions. He understood them for example when He would watch how they responded in certain situations and circumstances. He loved them understandingly. That is, He didn't ramp up this big list of things that He expected of them and when they failed, criticize them. He understood where they came from. He understood their background.
And I think oftentimes people who are judgmental of others, if they could just look behind their faces and see where they came from. How they grew up, how they were treated. Never loved, shoved around, mistreated, rejected. When you see people who come from those circumstances don't expect them to come pouring out genuine love upon you when they don't even know how. Jesus understood. He understood Peter for example, who was a strong-willed fisherman. And He had to bring him down to himself a few times. What was He doing? Was He criticizing him? No. He was understanding Him. And when Peter said, Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother? Seven times? In a little bit prideful about that. And Jesus had to say, knowing where Peter came from and knowing that even even a couple of times it would have been hard for him probably. And He said, Seventy times seven.
He understood where he was coming from. He understood his emotional makeup. And I think oftentimes we have expectations of people if we could j just look beyond the surface we would understand why they treat us the way they do. Understanding people and being willing to understand them is very important. If I'm going to love somebody and love them with genuine love and truly caring for them, I'm going to ask the question, where do they come from? What's going on in their life? So how did He love? He loved as we said for example in this particular passage, selflessly. And He loved understandingly. And He loved also forgivingly. A person who genuinely loves is forgiving no matter what.
You say, Yeah, but you don't know what they did. How many times have you gone to God and asked Him to forgive you for the same thing over and over and over again? Did He ever say, One more time and you're out? No. You went to Him over and over and over again and He forgave you. Think about this, what right what right do you and I have not to forgive somebody for anything when God has forgiven us continuously? I remember the first time it really hit me and I was teaching in a Bible institute. And and the all the guys were pastors. And one of them came to me one day and he said, he was getting ready to go into the jail to witness to a person. So I said, Who is this person? He said, He's the man who killed my mother last week drinking while he was driving.
There is no point at which you and I are not to be forgiving. You can't name anything. And when I think about people who are unforgiving, I think about this because it's true, an unforgiving person is a miserable person. They're unhappy. They have no peace. We say we reap what we sow, more than we sow, and later than we sow. When you sow unforgiveness, you reap the results of unforgiveness which is a lot of things that happens in a person's life. And how did Jesus love? He loved forgivingly. How is He loving in me today? Unconditionally and forgivingly. No matter what you and I do as His children, He's willing to forgive us. Because that's who He is. And He says, Now this is the way I want you to love other people.
So that being the case, you and I have no grounds for an unforgiving spirit. None whatsoever. How did He love? He loved sacrificially. And that's how He could say that you and I are to forgive one another. And that the highest form of love, the highest form of love is to love someone to the point of laying down our life for them. So you're saying, Well, do you mean to tell me that if my love is to really be true and genuine, that I got to give my life to them? Well, let's just see what He said. The highest form of love is to lay down your life for someone else. Now that's exactly what He did. Listen, whatever it took for Jesus to bring about redemption, that is the extent to which He went. Which was to the cross. And He says it's the highest form of love.
And I think about all these men over all these past years, in all the wars that we fought. How many men were willing to lay down their life because of what they believed? Because of their convictions, because of their love either for God, or for the country, or whatever it might be. And the truth is, there is sacrifice in all true, genuine love. And so how did He love? He loved in all of these fashions. And sometimes that kind of love brings a lot of pain. It can bring rejection, heartache. I think about people who live in marriages where you cannot please the other person.
You cannot be acceptive of the person. They do not know how to love the person. Everything about the relationship it seems is one-sided. All the love comes from one side and none comes from the other. What are you supposed to do? Say, That's the end of that, no more forgiveness, I'm gone? I love you not till death but till I find somebody that'll love me in return. That is selfishness to the highest degree. I'm not getting what I want so I'll find what I want. Not that I will demonstrate true, genuine love to you. He loves us sacrificially.
Now you are saying, Well, does that mean that I for me to love like Jesus wants me to live it love that I'm to die? I'm to love somebody till it just kills me? Well, sometimes you may think you are dying every day. And you remember what He said in Mark that eighth chapter? Listen to this thirty-fourth verse. "He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.'" Now what is He saying? He's saying in our lives we, the believer, must live a life of self-denial. And oftentimes true, genuine loves demands self-denial. You're in a marriage for example or relationship that's very difficult. It's stormy every single day. He says sacrificial love is willing to hang in there no matter what. That's not the way we think but it's the way Jesus taught. He says, That's the way I love and He says, You're to love even as I loved.
Now let's think about this for a moment, when He says that in this passage, the truth is, it's, watch this, it's impossible for us to love exactly like Jesus loved. Now, watch this carefully, because His love was a substitutionary atoning love. He came into this world for the primary purpose of laying down His life. His love was a substitutionary love. That is, He was to die a substitutionary death so that you and I may live. It was an atoning love; an atoning death. He had to die and give His life in order that you and I would be forgiven of our sin. He paid our price. And what is justification is all about? God declaring us just and no longer guilty because of the price Jesus paid.
Now you and I can't, we can't do that. That was a one-time thing and there's no copying of His kind of love. But the element of His love which was sacrifice, we can copy. And when He says, You're to love even as I have loved you, that's what He's talking about. It is a sacrificial love. Now, when I think about that and I think about the fact that we can't love exactly like He loved in that light. Then how can I love sacrificially? What what does it mean to love sacrificially? Here's what it means, it means whatever is required of me as a follower of Jesus to love you. That is, to give myself to you. To help you to do whatever I can for your sake. Then it's my responsibility to do it.
You say, Well, does that mean give, give, give, give, give? Watch this carefully, wisely in a disciplined fashion and carefully. Just giving to someone everything they ask for is not love. That's why you don't give your children everything they ask for. You know that you're to give to them wisely. When it comes to loving someone it doesn't mean give them everything they want. It means to give them what is wise to give them. Because remember, selfless love is for the sake of the other person. It's it's for their good. So as I think about what it means to lay down your life as Jesus said, the highest form of love, then how do we do that? There's no greater love than self-denying love.
So let's think about it in this light, it means I'm to love somebody unconditionally. Let's say that you're in a marriage but nothing is right, you can't please, criticism, rejection, disloyalty. If I love that person unconditionally and I love them sacrificially as Jesus loved, I'm not going to say, Well, it's too bad. This is enough of this. I'm gone. I'm out of here. If I'm looking out for the other person's good, I'm going to demonstrate genuine, godly forgiveness and love. And how many people have been won to Christ by a loving husband or a loving wife? Or by a loving friend who was mistreated? Because you see, when you think about what love is all about, it's very serious business. It was so serious with Jesus, He said it three times in those two verses, Love one another, love one another, love one another sacrificially. And when one person does that it is powerful. Whether it's in a family or whether it's in a war zone. It's powerful when someone lays down their life for the other.
And I think about the Lord Jesus who went to the cross. It was God coming to earth in the person of Jesus Christ, dying on the cross, motivated by one single thing. Unconditional, divine, supernatural, awesome love for everyone of us. And He says, That's the kind of love I want you to do for each other. You may be listening or watching wherever you are and I would simply ask you the question, have you ever felt loved by somebody? Really loved? Is there anybody that you could name that you truly, genuinely love them sacrificially? If not you're missing something in life. Because you see, without love life will never be what it could be. And unless it's the right kind of love, genuine, sacrificial love, that's when love reaches its summom bonum, its highest form. And that's when the happiness and the joy and peak, listen, the peak of fulfillment is only available where there is sacrificial love.
And it is my prayer that if you've never trusted Jesus Christ that you will. Because you'll never understand an ethereal and experience that kind of love until you experience His forgiveness, the new life that He gives, and the eternal rewards that'll be yours because you've responded to His love. And you say, Well, how do I do that? You acknowledge your sinfulness. You ask Him to forgive you not based on what you deserve or how good you're going to be. But based on the fact that He went to the cross, sacrificially died, paying your sin debt and mine in full. And the moment you're willing to exceed receive Him, to accept Him as your personal Savior, that moment, listen, His awesome, divine forgiveness absolutely totally fills your life. And that forgiveness is there forever. It would rather be foolish not to enjoy the love of God and fight your way through life never feeling truly, divine love. It's inexplainable. It's indescribable. I wouldn't even try to explain it or describe it. Let's put it this way, it's the most fulfilling thing in all of life. And that is my desire for you.
Father how grateful we are for the wonderful, beautiful life of Jesus. And the way He loved and the way He taught us to love. I pray the Holy Spirit has and will continue to speak to every heart that hears this message wherever and in whatever language. That we understand how much you love us. And we understand the potential we have of loving someone else likewise. And being loved in return. And we ask it in Christ's name, amen.